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Avatar universal

OCD HELP

UGH. My HOCD got a bit better and came back worse! Now I sometimes think I am, but when I consider coming out and loving girls, it doesn't feel right. It's not me and I AM POSITIVE I AM NOT A LESBIAN. ITS ALL THIS STUPID OCD. I recently started Zoloft for my HOCD so hopefully that will help. I just check and check and check. I'm 13 years old and this started last year. I imagined myself loving my best friend and worried constantly. Then, I made a new friend and my OCD is completely focused on her. However, if I consider being a lesbian with her, I find it strange and only think of her as a friend. I think its just because I look up to her, as she has a good sense of style and is a really kind person. Worrying takes up most of my day. I just want this to go away. Please PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!!!

ALSO THIS IS MY OCD FAMILY HISTORY:
-My dad had HOCD and many other forms.
-My sister...I don't know what she has. She won't tell me.
-My mom. She has sickness OCD, and constantly fears having cancer.
-My uncle
-My aunts
-My cousins
AND MORE

P.S This isn't my first form of OCD. When I was 5, I worried that I wanted to marry my mother. When I was 9, I constantly worried that I was overly attracted to the same gender, and was sex crazy (lol). Last year, I feared day and night that my mother was going to die if I wasn't a perfect citizen, picking up pencils that others had dropped and more.
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1699033 tn?1514113133
Wonderful news....good luck!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you! I talked my dad and he is trying to find and OCD therapist near us :)
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
I have OCD too and as much as I can talk to people on this site, I am no substitute for a professional.  I'm sure your dad means well and does help you to some degree, but I think you would be better off initially seeing a psychologist to learn cognitive behavioral therapy.  This way, you can help yourself in any situation, especially when your family members are not around.  The older you get the more stress is put on you and unfortunately stress just makes OCD worse.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
No, I haven't been frequently seeing a psychologist. However, my dad has helped many family members with their OCD (he managed to get rid of his). Maybe its a good idea to see a professional though.
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Obviously OCD runs in your family and there is no surprise there because it has been documents that OCD has a genetic component to it.  Have you been to see a child psychologist to help you?  
Helpful - 0
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