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OCD HIV

Hi I'm 16 years old boy, I developed this OCD 5 months ago due to having sex with a CSW. I was badly influenced by them to that nasty thing. I got a negative HIV ab/ag test 3 and half month after my exposure and now im feeling that my test is wrong even though I posted a lot of stuff is my result is conclusive that I don't have HIV. Now I'm been really anxious if it is wrong and I really feel like I'm contracting HIV everyday like rubbing my eye, etc. now I can't focus on my studies. Does anyone has the same situation as I am? Forgive me for my low English grammar.
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1699033 tn?1514113133
Hi there.  To this day you never told anyone you ingested rat poison?  I just had to go and look up the long-term effects of rat poison.  It looks like the symptoms happen fairly quickly after ingesting it.  So they are hemorrhage, cardiopulmonary effects, liver failure, convulsions and shock.  Did you experience any of these things?  When you say you were sick for years, what do you mean?  

Irrational thinking or OCD more than likely is not coming from the rat poison.  You may have spent the past 7 years worrying about the rat poison to the point that you are obsessed about anything to do with illness.  

You really need to talk to your parents so that you can see a psychologist.  Also you need to educate yourself about the ways HIV is spread and isn't spread.  Statistically this is a very hard virus to become infected with.  If you take a syringe with HIV tainted blood in it and stab yourself with it, you have less than a 1 percent chance of becoming infected.  Thankfully HIV is not like the flu virus or else we would all have it.  
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Avatar universal
Im 15 years old when I was 8 I ingested rat poison and didn't tell anyone and this made me sick for so many years .Then we had a maid who was Hiv positive one day my sister used a razor blade and left it on the table the next day It was moved from the spot to a new area idk who moved it.so I think I may have been cut although I never touched the razor  I just felt a painafter being close to it on my hand but there wasn't sign of a cut.So now I'm having all these symptoms everytime I get sick it's AIDS and all these symptoms idk if they came from my rat poison cuz I was sick all those years till the day I probably cut myself by a razor i don't even know if it cut the maid or is it Aids and it's ruining my early teenage life
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Avatar universal
yes I do ,I know how now you take every illness as a symptom of HIV ,it's okay I'm the same ,take care
Helpful - 0
937868 tn?1570328281
Hi son, this is the book that helps me a lot, please read it, some parts are a little confusing but in general will guide you how to work your brain back from OCD.

Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior by Jeffrey M. Schwartz and Beverly Beyette (Jan 31, 1997)
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
I'm not sure which book Nana recommended but hopefully it will help you.  

I will share with you that I had HIV anxiety as well at one point.  My "exposure therapy" was to go and sit in the AIDS clinic across the street from my work during my lunch hour.  I had to sit in the seats, pick up the magazines, converse, etc.  I did this for several weeks.  I realized in the end that you simply cannot get it from being in a room with an AIDS patient.  You cannot get it from being in a room when an AIDS patient sneezes.  It just doesn't transmit this way or any of the ways you
mentioned above at the computer shop.  

If you  need to make some cards that have statements of fact on them then do it.  Pull them out when you are having an especially bad time of it.  But the ideal situation here would be to see a psychologist.  They are trained in dealing with what you are going through.  Also, if it will make you feel better to test at 6 months, then go ahead and do so.  There is no use sitting here forever in doubt.  But I myself have no doubt whatsoever that you are negative based on your 3 month test.  

Good luck and hopefully the book will help you some.  
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Avatar universal
Hello sir, I've been stressed about the result, it makes me feel like maybe the doctor made a mistake that he switched the my blood with a hiv negative person in the lab, and sometimes my mind tells me that I'm a rare type and I'm the ones who will seroconvert after 6 months it really really stressed me and I can't focus on anything except for that. I'm extremely shy, I can't even tell my mom about it. When I'm having the test the doctor counseled me and I wasn't able to tell her everything all I say is yes, etc. thank you for sharing your time with me, it really makes me feel better that people are listening to me..
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Avatar universal
this feeling it makes me cry, staying in my room with no reason and panicking   . Whenever I go to the computer shop these days I feel like I can contract hiv from people beside and behind me when they're talking to me cause sometimes their saliva splashes whenever they are talking my mind always tells me that they might have a bleeding in their mouth and they are hiv positive. I still couldn't get any better... Sometimes I feel like having hiv then I really really fear that I might infect my family, I really love them and I don't want anything to happened to them. Nana thank you in advance for giving me the title of the book that I'll be reading, I feel so open now that I know that I'm not alone.
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Hi there and welcome to the OCD forum.

First let me explain the difference between OCD irrational thoughts and HIV anxiety.  OCD irrational thoughts take us from one thing to another, bam, bam, bam.  HIV anxiety is where you are fixated on this one particular disease.  

Now about HIV testing, if you have tested negative at the 3 month mark then you are DEFINITELY negative.  There is no doubt needed.  You can replace your negative thinking with positive thinking such as "I'm worried the test is wrong" with "these tests are very accurate and a negative result at 3 months is a definite negative."  

As far as possible symptoms, you have no idea how powerful the mind actually is.  Excessive worry really weakens our immune system.  When this happens it opens us up to illness.  And when you have HIV anxiety, any type of illness is therefore attributed to HIV even thought you are REALLY NEGATIVE.

If you cannot get past this on your own, then you need to seek the help of a psychologist who can teach you cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).  You would need to talk to your parents obviously.  You can tell them you are having irrational thoughts and you simply cannot get rid of them.  I'm sure you don't want to mention the CSW but if you do go to a psychologist make sure you tell him/her about what triggered this problem.  It is important to get the truth out there so that you can get proper treatment.  

I'm going to say this anyway even though I don't think you will repeat the incident, but CSWs are not worth it.  You are better off taking care of your own needs.  So many people go back and end up right back on here with HIV anxiety all over again.  

Take care and let me know if you have any other questions.  
Helpful - 0
937868 tn?1570328281
Dear Friend, yes, I had the same problem 2 years ago with the OCD and the obsession about HIV, im 47 years old and I did not had any reason to thinks about that illness but i got so bad that I did the blood test for all the members of my family - without real reason- but i was unable to control my OCD, i know how hard is for you know, YOU NEED TO FIND MEDICAL HELP, therapy , I will recommend you a very good book that help me A LOT, but because you are very young will be harder for you to control your mind, but i can tell you that about the HIV you are ok, you DON'T have the illness, let me found the name of the book , please remind me in 1 day...and if you need somebody to listen to you I will be here for you son.
Helpful - 0
1959063 tn?1326925825
yes,i often think that i have things like hiv,herpes,and other germs.it is actully verry common.i relly have no good advice, but i just wanted to let you know ur not alone,and anytime you need to talk message me,or wharever you guys do on here.i havent been on here for verry long and dont have any friends.but you r not at all alone
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