Thanks, it's good to know that somebody else has it as their worst symptoms. Whenever I give up a ritual, I find another one. I have been diagnosed and have been suffering for the most for the past 6 years. I just started opening up a little 2-3 years ago. I told my doctor and then Psychiatrist and have been on 200mg of Zoloft and 30mg of Diazepam a day but Diazepam doesn't work anymore and now he has me taking Clonazepam 2mg a day but it doesnt work so I just take 3-4 a day. I need to call him and tell him. What has worked for me mostly is my recent proof that God exist and practicing Islam with 100% intention everyday. Being closer to God and and submitting myself to him brings peace to my heart.
Hi there. I agree, you do need to talk to your pdoc about the meds if they are not working well for you especially if you are upping the dose of your klonopin without he/she knowing about it. I take klonopin as well but only 1 mg at night to sleep. The Wellbutrin I take helps me with the day-to-day things although I still need to fall back on my controlled breathing (CBT)when panic attacks occur.
God can be a powerful healer and I'm glad that you have found peace in becoming closer to him.
Take care and certainly post again if you need to talk.
OCD is always evolving. It is a disorder where you can get "closure" on a thought and another just comes along. I think the rituals follow along the same path. You realize that what you are doing to get out the door in the morning, say checking to make sure things are off, can be replaced by something else if the proper trigger is in place. Say you left the door open before going to work and you are a checker to make sure the house doesn't burn down while you are at work (that was me) you may now stop the checking for things that are on and go around and check all the doors. Or you may just add yet another ritual to the bag.
For me, the obsessive thoughts are the worst symptom. I don't do much checking anymore. Just when I'm going on a long vacation...then it takes me a good 10 minutes to get out the door while my family is waiting for me in the driveway. They know and so my husband says "just go get it over with so we can go." Gotta love that understanding :)
Are you getting help for your OCD? Have you been formally diagnosed? If so, what steps are you taking to help yourself get better?