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OCD and Fear of HIV
Hi All
I am so pleased that I have found this forum, as I feel quite alone and have no-one really to chat to about what I go through except my therapist, but often I think that she is just appeasing me.
My story is that I think that I have had ocd in some form or another for most of my life. When I was a teenager I suffered from anorexia, which I have heard is a form or an expression of ocd. And I have always basically been paranoid and very much always assuming the worst.
The latest obsession that I have is HIV. I had protected sex with a friend of mine over a year ago and am completely convinced that I have now been infected with HIV. The friend has reassured me time and time again that he is negative and plus we used protection. But everynow and then my ocd flares up and nothing that anyone says can convince me otherwise. The friend thinks that I am a complete lunatic and we hardly speak to each other anymore as a result of all this.
This isn't the first time I have thought I have had HIV, in the past I have worried about this and despite negative tests I still remained convinced that I have HIV.
Is there anyone out there who can relate to me? I would love to hear from you.
Please if you are going to tell me to just have an hiv test, don't respond as even though I know is is the most rational thing to do, I can't.
Thanks
I am so pleased that I have found this forum, as I feel quite alone and have no-one really to chat to about what I go through except my therapist, but often I think that she is just appeasing me.
My story is that I think that I have had ocd in some form or another for most of my life. When I was a teenager I suffered from anorexia, which I have heard is a form or an expression of ocd. And I have always basically been paranoid and very much always assuming the worst.
The latest obsession that I have is HIV. I had protected sex with a friend of mine over a year ago and am completely convinced that I have now been infected with HIV. The friend has reassured me time and time again that he is negative and plus we used protection. But everynow and then my ocd flares up and nothing that anyone says can convince me otherwise. The friend thinks that I am a complete lunatic and we hardly speak to each other anymore as a result of all this.
This isn't the first time I have thought I have had HIV, in the past I have worried about this and despite negative tests I still remained convinced that I have HIV.
Is there anyone out there who can relate to me? I would love to hear from you.
Please if you are going to tell me to just have an hiv test, don't respond as even though I know is is the most rational thing to do, I can't.
Thanks
4 years is a long time to be having this problem. There is a fine line between HIV anxiety and OCD so I cannot say what you have. Have you ever thought about seeing a psychologist for this problem? Youcan learn ways to counter your thinking, to counter the doubt that you have. Every test you do is you giving into the thought and when you do that, the thought doesn't go away. At some point you have to let it go and say "whatever" and move on and you need to learn the techniques to do that. There is also medication available and you may want to discuss that as well.
I am suffering from this problem since 4 yrs. And still I can't sleep sometimes. All my 12 blood test comes negative but I can't trust . I still can't be sure that I m not infected because everytime sample to cut off value increases . From searching web I came to know that it is nothing negative result is my main concern. I think I have ocd. Can anyone help about my concern. Glad to know that there are many like me. I think we csn solve this by discussing as we know us better thsn anyone
I am suffering from this problem since 4 yrs. And still I can't sleep sometimes. All my 12 blood test comes negative but I can't trust . I still can't be sure that I m not infected because everytime sample to cut off value increases . From searching web I came to know that it is nothing negative result is my main concern. I think I have ocd. Can anyone help about my concern. Glad to know that there are many like me. I think we csn solve this by discussing as we know us better thsn anyone
Do you others find that it feels like the subject follows you a lot and is everywhere(magazines,news etc.)?
This is a very stressing thing for me.
This is a very stressing thing for me.
Do you others find that it feels like the subject follows you a lot and is everywhere(magazines,news etc.)?
This is a very stressing thing for me.
This is a very stressing thing for me.
Hi there fellow people with fears and nursegirl
My way has been awfull. Had an exposure and then the hell was ready and I mean HELL. First the way to first tests: a bit of relief from 8 weeks negative tests(duo and antibody) but a lot of surffing as you know.
It's crazy, you know the surffing is bad but the desperate need to know more and the need to know if you are safe is great. Even if you try to keep it on the experts sites and official forums. But you just want to close every possibilities. This is tricky since even official sites vary with the info and guides. Then there's researches as well. Nobody wants to be the rare case of late seroconverter etc.
My hell always became worse with surffing and symptoms. The more you surf the less you know because of the amount of crossing info. And your mind selects what you believe not always your rational sense. Fear is very sneaky when there's any door open in the form of info.
Symptom always triggered my fear. Often something that i felt is very unusual for me. And that is the truth as well. Night sweating. Don't remember having ever. White toungue. weird. Muscle twitching that is still present. Even those sore throre and stuff happened. There has been so much of it and so unusual things. And the panicing thing here is that many of those came after those tests. Lates being 13-14 weeks after exposure. Then you think, damn so tests couldn't pick the infection. Just when you thought you are in the clear.
What I have done is seeing psychiatric nurse. I've even needed to go few times to psychiatric emergency. Sometimes it helps sometimes makes me feel worse. I've seen different kind of doctors/specialists and they have done many tests but nothing has occured and this doesn't really help. It makes you circle back for hiv possibility. Late seroconverting or something.
And then you surf about the subject. This circle should be cut. Then some people provide info and cases yes this could happen and some say you have tested conclusive your symptoms are something else. Well not according doctors. And eventually even experts seem to back up with the comments saying well could happen rarely but im not interested.
Im really interested in talking about a creative way of building your route away from the hell of fears. I've really holding myself from living and that's bad.
Im sorry about the messy and long discussion start.
My way has been awfull. Had an exposure and then the hell was ready and I mean HELL. First the way to first tests: a bit of relief from 8 weeks negative tests(duo and antibody) but a lot of surffing as you know.
It's crazy, you know the surffing is bad but the desperate need to know more and the need to know if you are safe is great. Even if you try to keep it on the experts sites and official forums. But you just want to close every possibilities. This is tricky since even official sites vary with the info and guides. Then there's researches as well. Nobody wants to be the rare case of late seroconverter etc.
My hell always became worse with surffing and symptoms. The more you surf the less you know because of the amount of crossing info. And your mind selects what you believe not always your rational sense. Fear is very sneaky when there's any door open in the form of info.
Symptom always triggered my fear. Often something that i felt is very unusual for me. And that is the truth as well. Night sweating. Don't remember having ever. White toungue. weird. Muscle twitching that is still present. Even those sore throre and stuff happened. There has been so much of it and so unusual things. And the panicing thing here is that many of those came after those tests. Lates being 13-14 weeks after exposure. Then you think, damn so tests couldn't pick the infection. Just when you thought you are in the clear.
What I have done is seeing psychiatric nurse. I've even needed to go few times to psychiatric emergency. Sometimes it helps sometimes makes me feel worse. I've seen different kind of doctors/specialists and they have done many tests but nothing has occured and this doesn't really help. It makes you circle back for hiv possibility. Late seroconverting or something.
And then you surf about the subject. This circle should be cut. Then some people provide info and cases yes this could happen and some say you have tested conclusive your symptoms are something else. Well not according doctors. And eventually even experts seem to back up with the comments saying well could happen rarely but im not interested.
Im really interested in talking about a creative way of building your route away from the hell of fears. I've really holding myself from living and that's bad.
Im sorry about the messy and long discussion start.
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