OCD and Fear of HIV

[Jozie77]

Hi All
I am so pleased that I have found this forum, as I feel quite alone and have no-one really to chat to about what I go through except my therapist, but often I think that she is just appeasing me.

My story is that I think that I have had ocd in some form or another for most of my life.  When I was a teenager I suffered from anorexia, which I have heard is a form or an expression of ocd.  And I have always basically been paranoid and very much always assuming the worst.

The latest obsession that I have is HIV.  I had protected sex with a friend of mine over a year ago and am completely convinced that I have now been infected with HIV.  The friend has reassured me time and time again that he is negative and plus we used protection.  But everynow and then my ocd flares up and nothing that anyone says can convince me otherwise.  The friend thinks that I am a complete lunatic and we hardly speak to each other anymore as a result of all this.

This isn't the first time I have thought I have had HIV, in the past I have worried about this and despite negative tests I still remained convinced that I have HIV.

Is there anyone out there who can relate to me?  I would love to hear from you.

Please if you are going to tell me to just have an hiv test, don't respond as even though I know is is the most rational thing to do, I can't.

Thanks

[gemdre]

i have this fear and i hate it because even through ii know its irrational I am still terrified. However i cant stop getting checked cause im so sure i have caught hiv i go to get tested every three months.

[crusade111888]

you all are not hiv infected.you all have common side effect of GAD.generalized anxiety syndrome.just stay focused.your anxiety shoots up in intervals but u go calm at the next minute.its pure brain chemical works.nothing to do with hiv.anxiety is a condition that can even generate physical illness or illusions.when u become so irritated or overwhelmed dont wait just go to an open area or a crowded place.just walk a lot.think YOUR BRAIN TRICKS YOU BUT NEVER SURRENDER.WHEN IT SAYS YES YOU ARE SAY BACK "NO THE HELL I AM NOT"

[mariabianca]

HIV is not transmitted by masturbation.

HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug users
Mother to child

[landscaper2]

Hey All!

I guess I am also quite paranoid about getting HIV even though I always protect myself during sex. But there is one thing which keeps annoying me. About 3 weeks ago I went to a mud-sex party i didnt have anal or oral sex with anyone but there was some anal fingerplay(me: passive) in the mud pool. Now i am thinking is it possible to get infected through mud? I dont think that someone *** in there but even if they did i know that hiv virus can not survive out of the body more then a minute. Is that true?

What do you think?

BTW sorry for my broken English but im German you know..

[mariabianca]

Hi - there's also a HIV prevention forum on here http://www.medhelp.org/forums/HIV-Prevention/show/79

This is what I was told:
HIV is not transmitted by masturbation.

HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug users
Mother to child

[ZigZahg]

I didn't even think I had OCD! But that's not what I'm worried about. Wow everyone on here seems to be sharing the same kinds of scares as I am although I think my case is a bit different. I have once had unprotected sex with this girl and a few weeks later (abroad) I had protected sex with a prostitute, I don't know what in the world I was thinking...I know that for a fact that I used a codom but I'm not sure if somehow some of her vag fluids remained on the inside tip of the codom (like an amateur I almost put it on the wrong side but the without washing my hands I touched the inside while trying to reverse the condom). So now a few months later I'm scared senseless and to read that some of you guys have dealt with these kinds of things for 5+ years, that is wayy discouraging, but also somewhat encouraging.
I haven't been tested yet, and I don't want to even though I'm experiencing symptoms of HIV, tho I also read that there's a thing known as a "psychological fear of hiv" that could be causing these symptoms. So I'm not really looking for any answers here I just wanted to let out all of what's been bothering me for over 4 months now and it's good to see that I'm not the only person going through something like this.