Does this sound like HIV OCD to you?

[justteenguy]

Hi guys! Ive been obsessed with HIV since childhood, but now it's worse than ever..little timeline: In November 2014 had a girlfriend whom I did cunnilingus 2 times, was super worried after, passed a rapid test in December 2015-negative..since then had sex couple times with another girl, ALWAYS protected, but afraid that since we slept in one bed that I may had "sexsomnia" (this thing really exists, it's like sleepwalking-look it up lol https://vanwinkles.com/what-is-sexsomnia ), so yeah and during this episode of "sexsomnia" to not put on the condom, and not remember it in the morning (especially since one of the times I was really drunk, but still remembered everything). Like I slept in pants most of the time (one time in boxers) and on my side on the bed, and when I was waking up the pants were still on me and I was on the same side of the bed. Also afraid that her public hair may have poked micro holes in condoms ; So, do you guys think that OCD is my real problem? Like I want to go and get a test but am super like super anxious..

Thanks!

[justteenguy]

But it's been long time and I don't even have her number anymore..

[JGF25]

If it isn't sexsomnia you are worrying about it will be something else.  There will always be something else until you get a handle on the HIV anxiety.  Ask this girl if she is HIV positive because after all you can't get HIV from somebody who is negative.  

[justteenguy]

Noo, the reassurance is ok, I'm just worried that may have had sexsomnia if you know what that is..

[JGF25]

HIV Anxiety and OCD are very similiar.  You would need to see a psychologist to get diagnosed.  From what you are writing, I would say you have HIV anxiety.  So first you can educate yourself about the ways of getting HIV from the CDC website.  Also, as you must know, your partner would have to be HIV positive to begin with and you are already assuming all of your partners are.  Did you ask either one of them?  Testing is reassurance seeking and reassurance lasts all of 5 minutes before you are back at the worrying again so I would suggest you make an appointment to see a psychologist who can diagnose you and help you with the thoughts.  JGF25