I think we can talk ourselves into anything actually. You didn't really see anything but your mind is making you believe you did and so you are taking fiction and making it fact. It is all part of the OCD irrational thought process. I'm assuming this is you you are referring to...what are you doing to combat the OCD?
Ok thank you for your answer. Yes i never been ocding over other cases, like i dont double check everything. But i have developped an hiv anxiety that was based on nothing just tv, news etc. So then i was convinced i had it got a test done, negative but still cant shake off the fact that the needle was reused. First i thought the nurse forgot to reuse it, then all of a sudden i convinced myself that i saw her cleaning the needle tip, because there werent much needles left en it was hiv infected. Im not sure she wiped
it but that thought is stuck in my head and telling me she didnt wiped the needle that well posing me at risk. I dont want to test because i read it only feeds the ocd and everyone says im not at risk. Its just the needle tip wipe thats keeping my fear a life. What do you recommend another test? I did concur the initial fear of her forgetting to change the needle. Can i concur this needle wipe tip fear as well? Even though i think i did see it happen.
First let me set your mind at ease by telling you that nobody and I mean nobody reuses needles unless of course you are a drug addict and you are not. Testing facilities do not reuse needles. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. HIV anxiety is difficult but at some point you have to say ENOUGH and move on. You tested when you didn't even have to test and you got your confirmation of a negative result. Now you need to believe that result and move on. A perfect storm has to happen for somebody to contract HIV through something other than the usual modes of transmission. Statistically, if you were an EMS person for instance and you stuck yourself with a needle that did have HIV in it, your chances of seroconverting to HIV positive are less than 1 percent. So now look at your situation...a new needle, no HIV could possibly be present, therefore you cannot possibly have HIV.
Thanks again for your comforting words. I just dont get why im being so paranoid over this. Its not that im ocding in other cases. I can say that my fear is on a lower level then it was a couple of months ago. Im gradually seeing how irrational im being, in the beginning i was almost paralyzed with fear.
Don't beat yourself up. I had to sit in an AIDS clinic for several weeks during my lunch hour to get over my own HIV irrational thinking. HIV anxiety is very, very common. Once you stop giving into the thoughts, they will stop coming on.
Once again thanks. Yes i have to face the fears. Im starting to cope with the thoughts. There just thoughts not more and none less. They can not harm me, i have evidence im safe.