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OCD obsessed with the thought I might be a pedo or a rapist?

Hello, I've suffered with OCD since a very young age of 8years old. I used to do things twice eg, touch things twice, or 4 times to make it even. However it got bad when I thought a voice was telling me to do bad things or things to better a situation that I didn't want too. Once was when I went round my friends about 9 years old and we watched a inappropriate film (sexual) and people dry humped. It gave me bad thoughts. And I thought about dry humping my younger brother on the bed he was 1years old. I DIDNT DO THIS. But recently due to friends issues this came back up and I remembered thinking it. But now however I'm winding myself up saying "what if I did rape him and don't remember doing it?" I feel like a awful sick person as I love my brother. But would I remember doing something this awful? And is it even possible to remember a thought?? I feel sick in the head and suicidal over these thoughts. I'm treating myself like a rapist and I don't remember doing it. Please help. I have OCD and TLE.
2 Responses
1699033 tn?1514113133
Hi there.  OCD is all about the mind and unfortunately it plays tricks on us and makes us think things are real when they are not.  There are people who believe they ran somebody over on the way home from work when in reality they would absolutely know if they hit a person.  This is no different.  Can I ask you how old you are now and have you seen a psychologist to learn cognitive behavioral therapy for OCD?  I could google TLE but perhaps you can tell me what that is?  Thanks.  
Temporal lobe epilepsy. And I know it's very difficult right now, I feel disgusting
1699033 tn?1514113133
You didn't tell me how old you are and whether you have seen a psychologist for help with your OCD....
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