Hi
I've noticed that I have been perusing medhelp boards a LOT recently, worrying about one disease to the next. It stems from the fact that I am dating a guy who is great but also has a colorful past that I can't seem to get over. I keep worrying that he has something that I will also somehow contract, be it through kissing, touching, fondling (we have not had sex).
He's been tested for all STD's and hepatits, but I continue to worry, what if the labs made a mistake? I would first obsess over whether he had the disease, then ask him to test, then get some relief from the negative result, then start to worry about false negatives. He has only tested once for each disease, but I'm tempted to ask him to test 2x. But this is expensive and I have to wonder if I'll ever be satisfied.I thought I would be satisfied with one test but the fears keep coming back. Perhaps I am unwilling to believe that given his past, he is actually clean?
He also has a roommate that is very promiscuous. My boyfriend doesn't approve of his ways or like to share things with him, but, my bf doesn't seem to take the same level of "caution" that I would if in the same situation. For ex., he suspects his roommate used his electric shaver, which pissed him off, but didn't seem to make him worry about HIV or hepatitis, and is more concerned about me making him get tested all over again,which I don't want to ask him to do, but the incident still has me obsessing.
I can never concentrate on my school work, and I don't seem to have control over my thoughts, sometimes I have good days, but mostly bad days where I can't seem to stop worrying. And I can't quite convince myself it is OCD because I truly think these fears are legitimate, as long as there is a minute chance of possibility. So I don't know whether to take action against the situation (more disease testing, say no to kissing, touching, fondling) or against OCD (get some mental help).
Are these fears obsessive?? Thanks