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Obsessing about treatment, what do I do?

Hi. I've been obsessing about treatment.
For example: I KNOW I will forget to take my medication, so I must remind myself with an alarm. But my psychologist says that that is a compulsion. But I know myself and will forget eventually, soon enough. That will have awful consequences, believe me. So we make an exception (awful idea) and decide to set up the alarm. But I wake up in vastly different hours depending on each day, and sometimes I forget to take the pills EVEN with the alarms (I wake up very sleepy, turn it off, brush my teeth and don't even realise the alarm was for my medication), I travel a lot and the times are different in each place and so I might forget to change the alarm times, and to remind myself of that I need an alarm or something huge, and even so I might not know at which time I'll have to wake up in the business trips, maybe it's at 4 AM,maybe 8, and I have to take the pills AFTER i wake up, which means goinf back to sleep isn't an option... so you know the drill. these are the kinds of questions i have to answer, and they're RIGHT, because everytime i don't compulsively do all these things I mess up. but they are compulsions, feel like compulsions, have me ruminating and suffering (i never know if everything is fine,maybe somethings missing, maybe the time isnt right, and many times thwse things turn out to be true).
this doesn't only apply to medication by the way, those were examples. there's many things.
question is, should I choose to mess up my own treatment so as to not do compulsions, or should i do compulsions so as to make sure I don't screw things up and end up suicidal once again?
My therapist isn't answering for 4 days. Any help is appreciated. Thanks
2 Responses
20808837 tn?1517454990
Hi Bolzaverde. I have the same problem, but what works for me (usually) is placing my morning meds on a napkin on my cellphone, so that when the alarm sounds, there is my meds and a bottle of water right away. I'm always drinking bottled water, and it's great to drink one every morning Ning anyways, on an empty stomach, due to digestion health, and just to keep the body well lubricated throughout the day. So there you go. Just a simple fix, but it can go a long way. Be in charge of your brain; don't let it be in charge of you.
Hi Abigail, thanks for your answer. I had a very similar solution, but ended up forgetting to set that configuration in some days (I took the pills then forgot to put them back at night for the next day. Or I would put them back, but would forget to put my phone next to them, etc). I have a terrible memory and even worse attention span, so I always mess these things up and have to make a fix for the fix, and then a fix for that too, etc. and it's insanely compulsive. It's not just the pills though, it's EVERYTHING that has to do with treatment. Everyday there's something new. Questions about work, exercising, smoking, reading books on ocd, everything that can interfere somehow
20808837 tn?1517454990
Sorry for some typos on my last comment. :(
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