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Obsessive Fear of Pregnancy

This past April I dated a guy for the first time. (I am 18 and was in my senior year of high school at this time) I knew he was not the one for me and I felt very uncomfortable with the whole (short) relationship, but for some reason I stayed with him. He was the first person I was intimate with. We did not have sex but we did other things. I felt very very guilty about what we did. I felt ashamed about doing something so special with someone who meant so little to me...and I know I did not mean much to him either. (It was a mistake)
He ended up dropping of the face of the earth and stopped answering my calls. I was crushed...but not because I missed him but because I regretted the relationship so much. I was sure I was going to be punished for what I did by somehow becoming pregnant. I was in a constant state of panic before I finally got my period.
At first I felt relieved but then I stupidly looked up things on pregnancy on the internet to reassure myself and came across all these things about women still getting their period even when they are pregnant.
I spoke to my therapist who is also a doctor and he told me I was not at a risk of being pregnant. I got my period for the second time and eventually my worries faded away.

I am on vacation at the beach right now and unfortunately whenever I go away on vacation, especially a relaxing place like the beach...I worry even more than I normally do. I do not allow myself to relax. I was sitting on the beach with my brother and parents and noticed there were many pregnant women. I suddenly thought, "Oh no, what if that is me. What if I somehow become pregnant?...What if I already am pregnant?!" I started to panic.
I thought, what if I actually am pregnant and I got my period anyways.
I looked up when women start to show during pregnancy and some places said women can show much later. I thought, "What if I am just not showing yet?"
I have been craving foods more than I normally do...pregnancy cravings?!

Earlier in the day I had a daydream about that guy I used to date...I think this may be what started this pregnancy worry. I don't want to somehow be tied down to this guy forever.
It has been 4 months since I was with that guy and I have had 4 or 5 periods.

1 Responses
1699033 tn?1514116733
You are not pregnant.  You need to ask your therapist to teach you cognitive behavioral therapy.  You need to learn this in order to be able to help yourself get over these thoughts.  Also I'm sure your therapist will tell you to stop looking stuff up on the internet.  It only makes the situation worse.  

If it makes you feel better, when I was younger (a really long time ago)  I slept with people who meant nothing to me and I meant nothing to them.  It was a means to an end.  Am I proud of that fact...no.  But I can't change my past and neither can you.  We can only move forward and change the things we don't like about ourselves.  
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