This past April I dated a guy for the first time. (I am 18 and was in my senior year of high school at this time) I knew he was not the one for me and I felt very uncomfortable with the whole (short) relationship, but for some reason I stayed with him. He was the first person I was intimate with. We did not have sex but we did other things. I felt very very guilty about what we did. I felt ashamed about doing something so special with someone who meant so little to me...and I know I did not mean much to him either. (It was a mistake)
He ended up dropping of the face of the earth and stopped answering my calls. I was crushed...but not because I missed him but because I regretted the relationship so much. I was sure I was going to be punished for what I did by somehow becoming pregnant. I was in a constant state of panic before I finally got my period.
At first I felt relieved but then I stupidly looked up things on pregnancy on the internet to reassure myself and came across all these things about women still getting their period even when they are pregnant.
I spoke to my therapist who is also a doctor and he told me I was not at a risk of being pregnant. I got my period for the second time and eventually my worries faded away.
I am on vacation at the beach right now and unfortunately whenever I go away on vacation, especially a relaxing place like the beach...I worry even more than I normally do. I do not allow myself to relax. I was sitting on the beach with my brother and parents and noticed there were many pregnant women. I suddenly thought, "Oh no, what if that is me. What if I somehow become pregnant?...What if I already am pregnant?!" I started to panic.
I thought, what if I actually am pregnant and I got my period anyways.
I looked up when women start to show during pregnancy and some places said women can show much later. I thought, "What if I am just not showing yet?"
I have been craving foods more than I normally do...pregnancy cravings?!
Earlier in the day I had a daydream about that guy I used to date...I think this may be what started this pregnancy worry. I don't want to somehow be tied down to this guy forever.
It has been 4 months since I was with that guy and I have had 4 or 5 periods.