Obsessive thoughts wont go away

[Canadian79]

Im currently in grade 11
When i was in grade 9 I had extremly bad anxiety and when i had to pee i wouldent ask the teacher because i was too nervous. Anyway i have gotten over that and now am able to ask the teacher to to go to the bathroom but in 9th grade i would hold in my pee to the point where a lot of the time i would pee myself in school, not fully but enough for it to leak to my pants. I know this is disgusting and i wish i wasnt scared to ask to go pee but i was and i cant change that. But now even though it was more than 2 years ago i cant stop thinking about the pee germs i got on the surfaces in the school. Im embarrassed to type this but i dont know what to do. Im constsntly worried about contaminating myself and other and i cry all the time and i can barely live with myself and my actions. All i can think about when im in the classroo.s where i know ive peed myself is how gross and contaminated everything is. I dont know if this is my ocd and i dont knoe what to do please help.

[specialmom]

I'm really sorry to read this.  I have a son with a lot of anxiety too.  Have you been bullied?  Often the bathroom represents a place where things like that can happen.  What about proactively scheduling your bathroom breaks?  Go before school.  Go at lunch.  Go at any other time that is easy like gym, before band, (or whatever your schedule allows).  What about talking to your school counselor?  They are so helpful and WANT to be there for students struggling.  It's not embarrassing and even an email to them could begin to set in motion some helpful things at school for you.  Often there is a pattern for when we have to go so if it happens around the same tie each day, you can have it set up ahead of time with the teacher.  Make sure not to take advantage (go straight in and return right away).  And since you have OCD about the germs present in the bathroom, ask your mom or you buy it yourself a small container of hand sanitizer that you refill at home and carry in your pocket.  Put it on before you go into the bathroom as a barrier and then wash on the way back out.  Use a paper towel or carry a paper towel or Kleenex into the bathroom with you to reopen the door to leave the restroom after washing.  :>)  Problem solve, there ARE solutions.  Better than the embarrassment and humiliation of going on yourself.  

But the bigger issue, how can you get help for the disorder of OCD?  Do your parents know?  They are your first line of defense.  This is a treatable disorder!!  But you have to seek treatment and help to get it.  Talk to your parents.  Then your gp for a referral to someone that works with teens and anxiety disorders. AND, your school counselor is again a very valuable resource and ally.  Let us know how you are doing!