ROCD/HOCD now. What the hell is going on

[benny3399]

Yesterday I was having anxiety all day that i could not control and i was looking forward to see my girlfriend that night. This is gonna be a little graphic but we were in my room pretty much naked and i had so much anxiety from before that i couldn't get an erection. I mean i got one but it wasn't as hard as it normally is. I was thinking about it so much that it through me off and i was getting more anxiety and she wanted me to give her oral. I said ok and i was really anxious while doing it. It wasn't bad or anything but afterwards i stressed myself out and my mind said i didn't like it. I got so much anxiety and stress that i started dry heaving and almost threw up in the bathroom. It was so bad. I feel like this is ruining my sex life too and i can't stand it. I really want to be with girls and never once have i ever thought about wanting to be with a guy until the intrusive thoughts and anxiety started. Why is this happening. Why is my sex drive struggling. This has never happened before. Im sorry for all the messages but it would be greatly appreciated if you respond to this. Thanks

[JGF25]

We have discussed this.  OCD doesn't go away unless you learn how to make it go away.  If you continue to not speak to your parents about your anxiety, then you are giving yourself no chance of seeing a psychologist and really learning how to live with OCD.  It is possible....I'm living proof of this.  What you don't realize right now is that you don't have to live your life this way.  I certainly don't live my life this way.  I have managed OCD.  So what are you going to do?  

[benny3399]

I dont know this is so scary.

[benny3399]

I dont know what to say