First of all i want to tell you that i have an OCD and i always think too much about bad things. I just can´t take them out of my mind. And this week i started worrying again, i think i was getting better but im reducing the medication as my doctor told me and maybe that´s why im worrying too much. But i have to be strong and go on, as i am 19 and i have to study. Also sorry for my english level.
Well i want to say that i´m not an addict and i don´t need to smoke, i just do it sometimes for pleasure (one or two cigarettes monthly and i started doing that this year, last year was even less) or when i go out. Now i think that i will quit because i just can´t handle with my ocd. But two weeks and a half ago i woke up on the morning to go to the university and a friend called me because he was late and he told me if i can pick him up. Well i wake up like 7.15 in the morning, have a coffee, then picked him up. I don´t remember exactly when but it was 7.55 or 8 and we smoked in the street before coming in.
This monday night i don´t know why i read this post about a study of Penn State http://news.psu.edu/story/270995/2013/03/29/research/smoking-immediately-upon-waking-may-increase-risk-lung-and-oral
Also that night i went out with friends and smoked at night, one or two cigs. I never smoke. and i will never touch one for the moment, at less i wouldnt while im with this ocd.
I know it was just one morning. But this ocd it´s killing me. If i stop smoking nothing will happen? And that NNAL or whatever will go out of my body? Or that would stay? If in this year i should have smoked 10 cigarettes moreless. As i said i won´t do that again. But please tell me something so i stop worrying and i can keep studying cause i have tests in two weeks and i can´t concentrate. Thanks.