Scared to death of HIV after cheating boyfriend

[Liv19]

When I was 14 I met my first boyfriend, he was a year older than me. I waited until I was 16 until I started having sexual intercourse with him. We were both virgins when we met and as far as I believed he still was. He used protection until he managed to convince me there was no risk due to neither of us never having sex before. I went on the pill and about two and a half months later we broke up. During this time we would have had unprotected sex about fifteen times (always pulling out before ejaculation). I discovered he had been sleeping with a few other girls while we were together, he says always using protection, but I find it hard to trust something someone who lies says. I never really had any flu like symptoms, I had the odd common cold now and then but that was before unprotected sex (I remember this because it was during the summer holidays we had unprotected sex and I was away a lot and was never ill).

It is now three and a half years on. A year ago I developed such terrible health anxiety, every week I am dying of something new, I spend every night researching figures and facts about terrible illnesses and driving myself insane with horror stories about them. This lead to worries about STI's such as Chlamydia, I thought oh god, what if I've had it all this time and never got myself tested and now I'm infertile. I spend months worrying before I plucked up the courage to get tested for STI's at the GUM clinic (swab testing not blood testing). I discovered I had one single genital wart, on the inside of my thigh which the doctor said is likely to have been spread through skin to skin contact. All other results came back negative which leaves me with one more doubt.. HIV. I have been obsessing over it for months now to the point where I have even emailed the ex boyfriend to ask if he ever got tested after we were together. Turns out he got a job as a HCA in a hospital six months ago in which they did blood work during the process of getting the job for contagious diseases such as mrsa, hepatitis and hiv. He said all results were negative. But now ofcourse my OCD has lead me to googling obsessively whether you can work in health care with HIV in which you can unless your a surgeon. So why would they test him? But then why would he make up the whole blood work story? He's now in another long term relationship if that makes any difference.

I know the answer is to get tested, but I'm scared to death of the results.
(he's the only sex partner I have had)  

[lily168]

Try to take the night off from researching! :)

[Liv19]

Thank you! Feeling a lot better :)

[lily168]

So it seems chances of getting PID from one chlamydia infection is 10%, then chances of that leading to infertility is 10%

10% X 10% = 1% (and we haven't factored in you actually having to catch chlamydia!)

And it appears that PID causes 'classic' symptoms, but can be 'silent.'
So chances are probably you would get the symptoms.
So all of this stuff would have to go the wrong way....

[lily168]

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Chlamydia-and-PID-concerns/show/1777198

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/How-Long-Until-a-PID-Shows/show/245028

This is where I got my information from if you wanna check it :)

[lily168]

Your question reminds me of myself about 2 years ago. I never worried about STDs and HIV before as I had only a small number of boyfriends and a couple of incidents of sexual intimacy (not full on sex) with a few other people who were not long term. I started to worry I had picked up something and passed it to my current boyffriend and in the end I just went and got tested to get it out of my mind. I was nervous making the appointment and going to get the tests but I needed to do it once just to clear my mind. There's nothing to be ashamed about! I started worrying about the chlamydia and PID thing and infertility as well - it seems from my reading the STD forum that chances of getting PID from one chlamydia infection are low, and there are typical symptoms of PID - although it seems sometimes it can be 'silent' though I'm guessing there's not much we can do about that..... Just mention it to your Dr as I'm sure they will put it in perspective for you but in the mean time I wouldn't burn up energy thinking about it :)

[Liv19]

Thank you so much for your reply, it makes me feel a lot better to hear others opinions.  I'm considering speaking to a doctor about my OCD because it has started to control my life to the point where I wont go out and do things because I'm at home worrying so much and internet searching! My doctor always tells me to stop Googling every time I go in there so I will try and stop that now! Thanks again :)

[lily168]

Also my advice is top stop Googling! It only drives more worries. By Googling you might read some ultra conservative information if its a government site or something, a real Drs advice is much more helpful. Also Googling often leads to more googling as you think of different scenarios and you will probably fiind other illnesses or scenarios to worry about.

[lily168]

Hey Liv

I think if you see the HIV Prevention forum on Medhelp the Drs say chances you picked up HIV from a heterosexual relationship are small, so don't worry too much about it. If you want to just be sure, just get the test and don't worry about it, just live normally and know that you are doing it to reassure yourself and just so you know everything is OK.
As for the Chlamydia thing, becoming infertile from a past infection, I used to worry about this too, I researched it on STD forum before, it seems that Pelvic inflammatory disease tends to cause very obvious symptoms... I don't know if you can become infertile and not notice any symptoms, I've forgotten the answer to that, if I find it I will post it for you, but if you are really worried you could post a question there to see if its worth worrying about. But in the mean time don't worry too much about it! Have you seen a Dr or therapist about your OCD? I tried to deal with it myself but it really is something we need help with, at least til we get control over it. Let me know how you manage this :)