Hi, First of all I want to say I'm not American. I'm from Sweden so there might be some spelling/grammar mistakes.
I have been exactly where you are. The thing with ocd is that it can really trick your mind to believe something you normally don't. For me it all started with serve anxiety, then panic attacks, fearing I was getting mad and it all ended up with reading hours about psychosis and furthermore schizofrenia.
I began to get paranoid, asking myself if I was convinced someone was after me, if Alien were gonna abduct me, and all kind of typical schizo ideas. At first glance I laughed at it but after spending so much time analysing it I started to doubt my perceptions and when it was worst I was afraid I believed in it.
I went to see a psychiatric doctor and he diagnosed me with OCD, anxiety disorder and post traumatic stress disorder.
I also had what you call "hallucinations" but in my case it was more of illusions. For instance when the train passed by our house I Could instead hear someone screaming. Alo when the whashing machine was on etc. So the illusions or hallucinations did have a "source". They didn't come out of my imagination so to speak. My doctor told me I experienced this because of my serve anxiety. My body were too focused on staying in survival mode (because of anxiety) that it couldn't cope with the sound stimulation.
He also said that when you have anxiety your body is prepared to fight or run. Something that can be tracked all the way to the savanna when humans beings still lived as cavemen with axes and stuff. Your blood in your brain decreases and therefor it's hard to be logic and reasonable when having fear,anxiety etc. That's why, when being scared of being paranoid etc, you can't rationalise with it because your body is just acting as it did back in the savannahs, when we tried to escape wild animals and stuff.
Once the anxiety is gone you can rationalise it and be more logical. That's why you actually "believe it" when.you are scared. So first you should get rid of that anxiety and you will sooner than you think get back to normal. Hope you understood some of the things I Wrote .
Regards from Sweden
First of all, a therapist can't fix what they don't know is broken. Don't be scared to tell them these things. There are plenty of people that have been diagnosed with OCD that thought they were schizophrenic. The important thing is to get help for it. I'm not a therapist, but rather a person that has lived with OCD for many, many, many years...I'm old! Trust me when I say that every person with OCD that has been in crisis mode thinks they are going to be sent to a mental hospital. Now having said that, sometimes when the thoughts are so bad, it is a good idea to do some inpatient therapy but that would need to be determined by a psychologist. Also, there are very good medications out there (I take medication) that help as well.
Hi, I haven't seen one yet. I have a doctors appointment so I'll bring it up that I would like to see one. I'm terrified that I'm hallucinating and that I'm schizophrenic. I only 'hear' these things when I'm really into something like really thinking about something and doing something, it happened again a few minutes ago when I was searching something. It's like a weird bang sound its not loud and I hear it in one ear and it doesn't sound real?.. I don't think it has happened when it's silent in the room. The more I think about the more I think it's just thoughts? I know it sounds weird but yeah. Everytime I calm myself down after it happens my ocd kicks in and I start overanalyzing, over thinking and the thoughts like "you're hallucinating" "you're probably schizophrenic" and all these other thoughts like that. I just need some comfort.... Do you mind talking to me? I don't really have anyone. Also, I'm scared if I tell a therapist that then they diagnose me with schizophrenia, or any other disorder that makes you have hallucinations... Or send me to a mental hospital.
Hi there. First I want to tell you this....if it got better before, it will get better again. You will ALWAYS be able to get better! Have you seen a psychologist? It really is helpful to learn how to deal with the thoughts through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).