Its true. Meds are a big help, so is support. Ocd is cripplimg, and wax's and wanes all your life. its very unfortunate. but there are good days.chell-e
Ive just had the week from hell. I got into an argument with my brother about my computer, since computers are his career, I wanted him to come over and help me, fast foward, terrible things were said to each other, he threatened me, and back and forth . In order to prove to my father that words can hurt, he called me a baby killer and said i killed something that would have been my child. I knew he only said these things because he knew they would hurt me the most, but i had gotton to the point when that when that thought would pop in , I didnt have anxiety or guilt and have to act on the compulsions. I took the high rd. and wrote back, that he should never feel quilty for what he said, because people say things in anger that they dont mean.
The next night my father sends me a video titled Hitlers children. The video triggered the ocd, and i got the thought that I was a murderer and killed all the pregnant women, Even thou i know it was ocd and not real, it left me in a terrible depression, and I feel like ther'es no escape from my family. I havent got the money to move, but I did tell everyone that my computer and phone are off for a week, because im on vacation in my house. more like house arrest. I hope someone can write something to help me feel loved and cared for, because i am dying love Michelle
awwww sweet heart.....!!!! Please please dont feel like anything is your fualt. Why on earth did ur dad send you such a horriable video??? are they all out to torture you or something? They sound like they are the ones who need some help, why do they hurt you like this??
You have to remember your a loving, caring person who did what you did for a extremely good reason, none of us of who have done that did it half heartedly and i know how it hurts......
You are cared for on here Michelle, we care for you and only want what is best for you and you know you can tell us anything and all you will get is support and love.... I'm so sorry i can't physcially be there for you, it sounds like you need a massive hug and good chin wag over a big cup of tea!!! But to let you know i am here always if you need me.
So has your ocd calmed down or is it still raging?? What kinda things do u do when its bad? do u clean, or check doors etc....?? Do u have anything to make yourself feel calmer??
I really do hope that peace comes soon hun, i really do...
Member im here!!!
Take care J xxx
Hi, In defense of my father, I dont think he sent me the video to upset me, I think he thought he was being educational. but thats how it affected me. Im so glad IU have this site. although sometimes I dont know how to use it.I keep forgetting my password. Do you know how I can edit my profile. Thanks love chelle_1
Hi chelle, to be honest i'm not sure how u edit as i've not done that since setting up the account.... i will have a little look and see if i can figure it out, if i do then i'll let ya know.
Glad ur dad didn't do that on purpose, that would of been a very spiteful thing to do if he had.... just hoping it gets sorted and you start to feel calmer and more loved soon...
It's amazing isn't it, there are millions of lonely, desparate people in this world if only we came together a lot more and was more op[en about our feelings the world may be a happier place, but on a daily basis we keep it all under our hats affraid to show jo public our true inner feelings and pretend like everything is ok.... i do that most of the time, meet a person in the street they ask how have i been and i say yeah fine i'm ok!! when in fact i wana scream and tell them i wanted to slit my own throat last last cause i'm so lonely and sick and tired of feeling like this... but hey ho!!
Anyway, just incase ur wondering i'm not suicidual, just fed up of waking up feeling tense, anxious, shaky and jumpy. Only to slowly warm into the day and only when i feel a bit of normailty it's time to go to bed and i start to feel depressed cause i know it's all about to start again...
take care Love ya j xx
I can totally relate, last night I wanted to scream at somebody the same thing, and not just say fine. Even thou my dad didnt sent the video intentionally to hurt me, my brother did want to hurt me, I think my brother who is 50 now, has some kind of attachment disorder, it never got to the extreme like some kids who cant attach at all, but pretty bad. he made my chilhood a nightmare.
Any way I cant do anything about that. I just wish I had some more money so I could travel more. What form of ocd do you have. ? I read your post to the lady with the thoughts about something she did in childhood. mabe youshould write her again, because there is a form of ocd where people are afraid of being peodiphiles. and they are frightened that they may have gooton aroused looking at a child. It can be very scary, because the person dosent want to have that thought. and would never act on it, I am not critisizing you, I just didnt know if you knew. Love chelle_1
Really that is a sign of ocd??? I really never knew that, i thought ocd was more of a doing disorder like checking doors, cleaning etc.... rather than thinking disorder in the sense of thinking they may do something. I never thought of myself as having ocd, just anxiety, panic disorder with agoraphobia... i say JUST but bloody hell having these is more than enough to deal with, i don't wana find out i have ocd as well. I will pass on the message to her.
Maybe it may be that between urself n ur brother that you may have to keep ur distance from him if he is feelingless and hurtful and does it on purpose, this is no good for you, you deserve so much more than that..... and tell me why is it always men????
Hi Julie, yes unfortunately ocd can take many forms, and content. Many people have what they call pure-ocd with mental rituals. what happens is they get a scarry thought, It can be of harming, especially those you love most, which is what makes it so excruciating., sexually acting out with someone inapropriate, all kinds of unwanted thoughts. In response to these unwanted thoughts, we do Mental rituals, like analysing, reviewing, counting, asking for reassurance, confessing, and problem solving, it is not like regular problem solving, it just goes in a loop. none of these rituals work, so the ocd fear gets stronger and stronger, bringing about the feeling of needing to do more rituals. Its horrific, I have ocd, panic, and depression. i think its a miricle that I have gotton thru my life as well as I have. If your interested , there are some good definitions on websites such as ocfoundation.org, ocd-uk.org to start with. I know this is allot, people with this form suffer so much, because its all inside their heads and other people cant see, like they do with washing or checking, so they dont know how your suffering. hugs love michelle
Wow, i will def go have a look on the web-site and have a good read. I analyse all the time and go into a problem solving mode to try and work out a soution, i'm not sure if it becomes intrusive as once i have worked out the inital problem i usually leave it as that, i do know that sometimes to realive stress and anxiety i will go into a cleaning frenzy and will spend hours upon hours just sorting, cleaning, tidying and i won't stop until i can't physically do no more, i can at it for like 12 or more hours in a one go. Don't do it all the time though....Thank-you though i will def have a read.
Hope ur feeling ok today... me, i've had a tough one, struggled but popped a pill and slept for a while and felt better after, feel calmer. Just now it's time to go bed and the feeling of dread for tomorrow is there....
Well sweet dreams and chat soon ... love J xx