20841278 tn?1532904380

These thoughts feel so real and drive me crazy.

For a while now I have been worrying about being lesbian. I don't want to be lesbian, but my head keeps thinking What if its just denial...Sometimes I see an attractive girl and i start having these thoughts. Sometimes its there and sometimes its not. Sometimes I worry, WAIT what if I have a crush on her....I don't want to have a crush on a girl I wanna like boys...But why do these thoughts feel real. My whole life I have had crushes on boys. I have no problem with the LGBT I support them. My thoughts say WAIT what if- what if- what if- and sometimes I feel guilty..But then theres the...what if?! Its driving me crazy.....
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Hey don’t worry I’ve been there too. During my sophomore year of high school I started obsessing about the same thing 24/7 and it got so bad it made me feel sick and even suicidal. But trust me, it’s just OCD. It has a way of convincing you of things that aren’t true and sometimes it can feel SO real but it’s not. My whole life I’ve been attracted to guys and had crushes on guys and even though I’ve never even dated before, I’m 100% sure that those feelings are real. You’ll be okay, just try to relax and I know it’s easier said than done, but when those thoughts come around just tell them to F off because they mean nothing. They’re just thoughts. Take a deep breath, and do something to take your mind off it. If it’s really bad try talking to your therapist if you have one. If you’re seeing one for OCD then they should understand and not judge you at all. And if they do, then I suggest getting a new one. In the case that you aren’t seeing a therapist, talk to your doctor that you’re concerned about your mental health and they’ll probably help you out in finding one that specializes in OCD.

Again, trust me. You’ll be alright. For me, it really came out of nowhere, and it scared the heck outta me and me thinking the same “what if? what if?” thing. But I pushed through and made it out the other side okay.
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