help please

[Hellsuffers]

So I am a 16 years old girl ,So every year I have this special friend who I just to talk with 24/7 and Love to hug and cuddle with , I am naturally very cuddly but whenever We hug I feel excitement and feel like butterflies in my stomach, though I don't see her in that way ,sexually no just no ,and This is the third that happnes, I like some girl's thing in herself, and develop A strong friendship with her ,I don't see myself kissing or having sex or marrying her, but it just makes me so confused that I have butterflies in my stomach with her and crave to be with her, I am not afraid of society , nor mom or dad ,nor because of religious matters , before this I posted some post on this site but forgot my password haha , And I really really don't know who am I anymore, nor I didn't fantasise about any girl in thaaaatt way, I do cuddle my friends but not thinking that way , and my past is just sooooo filled with ocds , more than 5 types , HIV ocd , Pocd , Zoophilia ocd ,Religious matters, Blood and murder ocd ,Harming someone ocd ,and havvinggg to do that spectacular thing or else my body will nag until I do it,And I did some searches on the Internet before posting this , they are attraced to them in way sexually and I AM NOT and my mind keeps saying I am denying , I just love my friend too much and too attached to her because she is the same as me and just accept that I have so many disorder, suicidal thoughts and lots , no one understands me as she does , And my mind keeps saying but your behaviour with her isn't straight I know people when they see us may say that but we know we just like to be with each other and I am just literally not eating since one weak and shaking, I used to be a boy crazy , And Sexually and emotionally to boys I don't know what happened to me I don't wanna be bisexual ,though my mind says I am , I used to suffer from this 2 years ago and it came back this month and I just wanna disappear , I know I am not but my brains says that I am., I don't wanna ruin my only vacation , I utterly literally love my best friend and I don't wanna leave her and she assured me she never thought my actions are meant to be sexually please help me I feel like I am . drowning is this a girl crush or am I really a bisexual? Thank you very much

[123tushar07]

They will believe you , hocd is very common form of ocd, please consult a psychiatrist,no one is going to come to your home to help you, you have to reach out for help by yourself

[Hellsuffers]

I know I couldn't cope with this one because I don't know what is the correct name for my friendship with her , I wanna be cured too but I can't, they won't believe me ..

[123tushar07]

if you can cope with ocd, you wont have posted here, ocd is not a small disorder, it can ruin your life, so i think you should start taking treatment by a psychiatrist, medicines are available but one thing which is must is cognitive behavior therapy ,so please consult a psychiatrist

[Hellsuffers]

Hello,I havn't gone to one yet , and I just kept doing things to relieve my anxiety until I coped with it and it eventually goes away .

[JGF25]

Hi there.  I certainly cannot diagnose you but since you do have many other OCD issues I have to think that this is just one more in a long line of OCD thoughts.  So tell me what you have done in the past to help with the other thoughts.  Did you see a psychologist?