hit and run ocd

[princess2012342]

Okay so Ive had OCD for almost a year now and its been off and on sometimes bad and really bad. Well my OCD had slowed down for about 6 months and then just recently picked back up. Yesterday I went to a job interview that was out of town(I'm a recent college grad) and I was running late due to certain circumstances. I panicked the whole way there that I was not going to make it on time. Unfortunately, I let my anxiety get in the way and I choked during the interview,probably one of the worst interviews I have ever given. As i was headed back home( an hour 1/2 away) I had to make a stop in a small city to take care of a speeding ticket I had gotten a few weeks back. i did not like the idea of being in a small city because I knew people would be walking in the streets, which they were it made me too nervous. I saw someone walking on the side of the road and had to turn around several times because my fear that I had hit them came over me. I made a stop at a dollar store to calm down. As i was pulling in I see a guy sitting on the back of his trailer. I didn't want to park near him because it made me nervous. I watched the guy get up and walk to sit in his truck. I even took pictures in my rear view mirror to make sure that no one was behind me. Although I did these things I cant shake the feeling that I may have hit the guy. If I would have I know I would have heard something. The whole way back home my brain went into a frenzy I cant seem to be able to get rid of these thoughts. I pray and pray that they would go away and just leave me alone.

[JGF25]

Ah..school stress..remember it well.  There are really only two choices when dealing  with OCD and that is CBT and or meds. Since you don't want to be tied to a pill then you need to really hone your CBT skills and that takes practice. Can you make time for a psychologist again? If not try to pick up The OCD Workbook: Your Guide To Breaking Free  of OCD. You can pick it up from Amazon or probably download it as an Ebook.

In the mean time close your eyes and imagine the way it would be like to actually run someone over. You will imagine the noise, the sound of your car hitting somebody, the bump you would feel, the screech of the car as you try to avoid  the person, etc  and when you do this you will realize  that what happened that night don't involve you hitting anyone because none of the above ever took place.

[princess2012342]

Hello,I was on medication at some point but I didn't want that to be something I would run to every time I felt this way. I have also seen a psychologist as well, but school became so busy for me I had no time to go to appointments. Overtime I have learned to cope with the OCD but lately its been spiraling out of control now.

[JGF25]

Hi there.....Stress really has gotten the better of you.  Probably subconsciously the interview has been bothering you and it seems to have just kind of snowballed.  You are no stranger to OCD irrational thinking and so you know deep down that you didn't hit anybody and that at the moment you are on that nightmare superhighway of thoughts and doubts.  

Can I ask what you have done previously to help you control your OCD thoughts?  Have you been to see a psychologist to learn CBT?  Have you been on medication?