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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
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Avatar universal

hiv ocd?

Exposer may 20 testing
14 days hiv and full panel neg
20 days hiv full panel neg
33 days rna negative
35 days insti and rna negative
39 days eia hiv and rna negative
49-50 days p24 and hiv insti negative
74 days Eia hiv test and full std panel negative
75 days clearview rapid negative
76 days Hiv inst negative
77 days clearview rapi negative
80 days clearview rapid negative
81 days clearview rapid negative (testing with female partner)

All together I've probably had over 30 and close to 40 rapid test done with 11 week span. Ive been told to stop testing.. but I can't. . I caught a cold at the end of the 10th week.. and my gf did too.. so that's why I'm freaking out and testing like crazy week 10-11... I'm 3 days away from 12 weeks... I can't help to think this cold is hiv related
26 Responses
1699033 tn?1514116733
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm missing some information here.  What did you do that you perceived as a risk for HIV infection?  
Avatar universal
I was on meds... knocked out.. found the asian massage girl ride riding my penis... grabbed her by the hips washed my penis cleaned it.. and left.. ever since I've been calling the business..
1699033 tn?1514116733
COMMUNITY LEADER
You went to a massage place, took meds, passed out, and was basically raped by the massage therapist?
Avatar universal
Yes! I called tgat place.. they she left back to Thailand
Avatar universal
I talked to a hiv counselr at AHF aids healthcare foundation.. he said hiv would not cause a cold at basically week ten... and said I should of stop testing after my first naat test was negative.. I took a hiv test that day too.. basically 76 days one day before 11 weeks.. he said I don't even need to test at week 12.... I'm so scared
1699033 tn?1514116733
COMMUNITY LEADER
You have called the experts and they are saying you don't need to test.  If you cannot put this behind you with your negative results, then you need to think about seeing a therapist to help you through this.  

Here is some perspective for you regarding HIV infection.  If you were to take a needle filled with HIV tainted blood and poke yourself with it, you have a 0.3% chance of becoming HIV positive...less than 1 percent.  It is difficult to get which is good because if it wasn't, then we would all be infected by now.  

I think that this is more than just HIV anxiety.  You were assaulted.  Can you file a legal complaint with the establishment?  
Avatar universal
I'm trying to find laws.... but its so difficult to find something... I thought my gf was infected.. but she testing with me and she was negative at like 7-8 weeks... I was relieved. . But my anxiety and ocd of testing came back
Avatar universal
You or your gf and you probably caught the other ones cold. If you both had hiv you wouldn't both simultaneously break out with a cold exactly 10 weeks later.
HIV testing has been around a long time, so I think they have got it down pat, since you never hear of a negative testing person who gets it and infects a bunch of people. That means you DO NOT have it. You should ask yourself why you think the hiv docs don't know as much about hiv as you think you do.

Write back if you are still worried about it.
Avatar universal
Well now she has rashes on her arm... but I mean.. she's prone to getting rashes... but it looks like an hiv rash
1699033 tn?1514116733
COMMUNITY LEADER
At this point a pimple on yor face would be an HIV pimple. You need to let it go. Yo need therapy because I dont see you developing the tools you need on your own.
Avatar universal
Did you become a medical practitioner and diagnose her normal rash into HIV? Perhaps you should read this book. The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death. It shows you there are hundreds of rare diseases (and some not so rare) that you can get. Why focus on HIV when there are hundreds of others to worry about, such as getting leprosy if a leper sits beside you on a bus and accidentally contacts you?
http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/0684856484/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_1?pf_rd_p=485327511&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=0684852802&pf_rd_m=A3DWYIK6Y9EEQB&pf_rd_r=0DXXVYZDDQ0BQE02R7JB
480448 tn?1426952138
Your MANY HIV tests prove you didn't get HIV from your situation.

To continue to test is only going to fuel your anxiety.  If you're not infected, your GF can't be either..you can't give her something you don't have.  Not to mention, a rash at this time would not be related to HIV.  ARS related symptoms would never show up this late.  Her rash has nothing to do with HIV.  

If you cannot put this behind you (HIV), then get some help.  You don't have it.  The testing is a compulsion.  You don't need anymore tests.

I have a slightly different take on the situation.  While it may not have been right for her to do what she did if she could clearly see you were messed up, YOU put yourself in that position, going there and then incapacitating yourself.  Who knows what you could have told her in your stupor?  You may have directed her to get on top of you and have sex with you.  My advice would be to not waste your time with this anymore...don't contact the parlor anymore.  Accept your part in this, and learn from it, it was very irresponsible behavior on YOUR part.

Again, I'm not excusing her possible taking advantage of you, but you just are not able to say with certainty what happened because you made a choice to become very intoxicated after going there.  What did you take anyway?

Make this a lesson learned and get on with life.
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