Hello everyone, up until now i have never questioned my sexuality, im 29 years old and have had a few girlfriends, and female sexual partners over the years. I normally masterbate (more than i should to images of women etc etc). However on a night out recently, the brother of a friend of mine came on to me and was rubbing my leg and grabbing my belt etc, and what to come back to my house. I refused his advanaces and said i wsnt gay, and wnet home. The next day, al be it a bit hungover i didnt give it a second thought and went to work, and checked out girls etc. But then it hit me, i was like does this guy think i was gay and was i giving of some gay vibes etc??!! That led me to think that my family and friends would disown me if i was gay, and my life would be over. Since this i have lost sleep, lost my appetite, my sex drive has gone and i feel depressed and have suicidal thoughts. I find myself constantly questioning my sexuality, looking and guys on the street and on tv and wondering if i am attracted to them and seeing if i have any homosexual thoughts about them. It is honestly runing my life and i cant go on like this. I have a gay brother who is quite happy in is sexuality and in a relationship, so i have always been tolernate of homosexual's, and have a few friends who are gay. The thought of being gay really upsets me and i find myself looking at homosexual images to see if i get aroused, i would honestly rather be dead that gay. I am so exhauseted of it all i dont smile and have trouble getting out of bed and on edge all the time, its only been a few days and i am in a real state. I want to have kids and a wife and a lovely home etc, but being as insecure as i am and my history of being a worrier and over analysing things to much. Can anybody offer words of advise or encouragment ?