Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community
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ocd help

Here is my story. I am a father of 2 boys and had had a wonderful family at least till now.When I was around 14 yrs. I remembered one time we were playing us little boys and some one called me that an older guy need me. I went to him it was late in evenning and remember he focibly kissing me . I know i was not abuse for sure. all i can remember again is sitting in front of a mirror looking at my face at home. I dont know if that was a dream or reality.
        This older guy died of HIV and i remembered the above senario. this about 21yrs ago. I became fearful of HIV.I have dated  about 4 girl friends before I got married and all of them we have to go for hiv testing although we protected ourselves.My obsession is so bad to a point i can leave a normal life.the painful part is i love my kid s and love to be there for them. I want to be a strong man and a role model for them but ocd thoughts about hiv is reinge my life.I badly need help.thanks
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1699033 tn?1514116733
Very typical of OCD.  Even as I sit here writing this, I have my own obsessive worries going on.

This is the key.  You know this is an irrational thought and you cannot give in to irrational thoughts.  You definitely do not have HIV.  Kissing is not even a mode of infection.  When this thought comes into your head, replace it with a positive one.  Say to yourself is this thought a fact or a fiction?  Of course in this csae it is a fiction because nobody gets HIV 21 years later nor do they even get it from kissing.  Then say to yourself," I am not going to waste my time thinking about something that is a fiction.  I do not live in a fictional world but rather I live in the here and now."  After a while you will not be plagued by this thought anymore.  

If you are having other OCD thoughts, then you may need to consider seeing a therapist to discuss cognitive behavioral therapy or even taking medication.  

Medication helps me.  I think the thought and can for the most part let it go.  Or if it does hang around a bit, I don't feel out of control.  

You can be the role model you want to be.  You just have to get the OCD under control and there are many ways to do that.  No need to suffer with it.  
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