Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

ocd hiv

Hi, here is my situation.(first off I have a problem that I keep going to see mps...I am going to a shrink to help me quit)
For the second time since the beginning of June I saw had unprotected sex with an mp at a salon where they traditionally dont do full service. I know the owners and they insist all the girls need to test to work there and we were using a condom that broke. I tested a week after and showed her the results that said I was clean...then two weeks after the sex I tested through the lab and contacted them a week later to find out it was negative. So I again contacted her(she is still working there) and told her again I had negative results. She told me she is ok, but never told me she has got back results...now she refuses to answer my texts...I know she has a child and a significant other...but her refusal to get back to me has left me thinking 100% that I have hiv. I did feel a little sick about three weeks after the incident for about a day...but my doctor told me this is probably stress and anxiety....now I'm back with my long time partner and I want to have sex with them...but I'm terrified I might pass them something...I'm a mess, and I only have me self to blame...i wish she would just show me something that she is ok
14 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
1699033 tn?1514113133
Because you have untreated HIV anxiety and doubt is still there wreaking havoc.  Learn cognitive behavioral therapy from your psychologist (I assume this is who you are seeing when you say "shrink")  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Couldn't wait for results so did rapid hiv antibody test at clinic...came out negative...the nurse said I don't need any further testing...why am I still worried about my results from other test
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So I went to do the hiv antibody and antigen test again...and now the horrible waiting time. I hope all those odds being on my side helps....please say a prayer...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks, this behaviour can become addictive...I have decided to cut all of these temptations out of my life...no strip clubs, no mps, no porn. I have been good for over 2 weeks for all 3 and keeping myself busy with my child. Hopefully I will be ok, 3 months is usually all good, thanks for your help...god bless
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So you should be coming up to your three month mark and can test then. According to the hiv prevention forum here three months is conclusive. I have my doubts and fears towards that , but it will help you by getting tested at the three month mark whether u believe the window period is 3 or 6. I'm in therapy also & its not to bad. I have 22 days until my six month mark and I can put this behind me. So I can offer u ways to get through the awaful window period. For me helps to count the days down and cross them off on a calendar. Don't call the CDC they will only read right from their website. They will tell u to be sure test at six months. That's not what u will want to hear. So just keep telling yourself 97% conclusive at three months. Remember this feeling the next time u want to go see MPs. We all make mistakes and what's important is not to repeat them. Please keep in touch    
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have given up on asking the girl...she says she tested and is fine. I not an expert so I can't comment on reliability of a test. I will, it will be two months at the end of this week, I will do another duo test and hope everything is ok...thanks
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Stress will really cause a lot of damage. Thanks for your kind words. However I still worry everyday and plan to test again at the six month mark. Regardless if his test was negative. All I can tell u is to try to take care of yourself while waiting for the awful window period to be over. I haven't really found any good ways to cope or I would share them with you. I guess we both learned a tough lesson through our experience. I'm here if u want to talk. Do u think the oraquick tests are accurate? Maybe u could ask the girl to take one?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thanks for your words...I'm trying not to over think things now...I am eating healthy again and getting sleep and I feel great...also trying to boost my immune system...it's amazing what we can do to our bodies through anxiety and stress...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey I read you thread...you are ok don't worry...you have tested and don't have hiv. Take a deep breath and realize that you need to be safer next time...but life is great and you don't need anymore testing...not even at at 6 months. I'm really happy for you...you have a great long hiv free life to live for:)...thanks for your words
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi I feel your pain. I'm going through somewhat of the same distress. Refer to my post named ocd + fear of hiv equals a big mess. Maybe we can keep each other calm.
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Stress and anxiety take a heavy toll on our bodies. They weaken our immune system and open us up to sickness such as colds and things like that. It can be so bad that we are unable to eat which is also weakening our body.  When this happens and you start to feel unwell the first thing you are going to do is attribute it to what is scaring you when in reality it is the anxiety that is making ou sick.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi thanks for your advice...I can't seem to get over this and now that she won't return any of my texts...also both of my dogs have gotten sick and I feel like bad things come in three's. I'm scared to go and get tested again...I'm freaking out about this...she is still working at the salon...she must be ok or she would be evil. I even told her I was going to have unprotected sex with my partner(which I havent because I'm scared to get her sick) and she said she ifs fine...why can't I trust her...can the stress and anxiety be what is causing me to have some symptoms....
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
yes I do suffer from OCD...I do have control issues...thanks
Helpful - 0
1699033 tn?1514113133
Hi there.  It sounds like you have control issues. The lack of control when it comes to sex and wanting ultimate control regarding whether this woman gets  back to you or not. You see you are obsessing over this while she is happy to hear you say you are negative. She has stated that she is OK so in her mind this is over and done with and also you stated the place asks the women get tested. I think you need to address this HIV issue as well with your therapist. It is more than you not being able to control your sexual impulses. Were you diagnosed with OCD?
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Community

Top Personality Disorder Answerers
1699033 tn?1514113133
Somewhere in, MD
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.