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whats the difference between repression and HOCD?

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1699033 tn?1514113133
Oh, absolutely they do!  They might not refer to it as HOCD but rather sexual orientation OCD, but it is very real and I guarantee they are familar with it.  
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Avatar universal
Being that this isnt a real OCD diagnosis do some OCD doctors recognize it
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1699033 tn?1514113133
You are always testing because that is what people do when they suffer from OCD and horrific thoughts.  This is the thing you have to remember, this is a cycle and if you don't have the tools to get out of the cycle, then you are going to have a hard time of it.  Maybe at some point down the road you will grow tired of the thought and dismiss it and you will be done.  But more than likely you are going to need to see a counselor of some sort.  All my reassuring isn't going to fix the problem you have going on.  You are not gay but me saying that isn't going to fix you because in that horrific thought cycle is doubt which is why we just keep going around and around.  
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Avatar universal
Sometimes the attractions feel so real like my penis can become slightly erect to dudes and I resent it... no response to women BUT before this it was always without a doubt to girls... I would wake up with morning erections to girls everyday... I havent had this in years. Can u explain this to me please and I also wanted to say all your feedback is well appreciated. Because it is a known fact sexuality dont change. Its like I am always testing
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1699033 tn?1514113133
This is the definition of repression:

The unconscious exclusion of painful impulses, desires, or fears from the conscious mind...i.e., there has to be something there to suppress to begin with.  If you are not attracted to men, what are you supressing?  

The definition of HOCD taken from the urban dictionary - I especially like the analogy to feeling like you want to jump off a cliff when afraid of heights.  

HOCD is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder that deals with one's sexual identity. It's based around the fear that one might become or somehow is homosexual, with this notion going against all rational and actuality of that person's sexual identity as a heterosexual. In part, the fears are that of impulse and loss of control, where one feels overwhelming anxiety around the intrusive thoughts of being sexual and passionate with another member of the same sex.

This is not at all the same as closeted gays who may be afraid of social repercussions. It is not a fear of rejection by members of the same sex, but rather is a fear of the attraction itself. Healthy homosexuality and heterosexuality are based around positive feelings, whereas the feelings encompassing HOCD are quite negative and do not revolve around wholesome fulfillment. Instead, they are based around insecurities and the mind playing off these insecurities to falsify reality to the afflicted person. The person will feel an urge of sorts that just "doesnt fit" with themselves, and it causes utmost anxiety, confusion, frustration, and pain. However, the urge/thought does not go away and the anxiety persists, leading to illogical rationalization and depression, among many other negative side-effects stemming from being afflicted with the intrusive thoughts.

For those unsure about what this feels like, imagine getting the impulse to jump off a cliff. You're standing at the edge, and your body and mind scream out "no!!!" but the impulse almost convinces yourself that you want to do it. You have control over yourself, and you may hastily step back from the edge of the cliff, but might for a few minutes be scared and confused as to why you even had the impulse. This "impulse fear" is what drives the confusion in all obsessive compulsive behaviors, and is quite apparent in HOCD as well. The disorder comes with the thought of the impulse being persistent and intrusive, and not being easily dismissed by the obsessive mind. Instead of just being there, it serves to try to convince the person that maybe he did want to jump off the cliff, and maybe that is some actual reality for him. This does not fit with who the person is, and it causes confusion and mental disaster.
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