would i remember a traumatic event if i were blacked out drunk?

[iDaleo]

ok so to start i am not proud of this. last night i was celebrating graduating from college. i had been cooped up for 2 weeks studying for finals and wanted to go out with my friends and have a good time. i drank wayyyy too much. i remember bits and pieces of the night, including the very end where i remember leaning up against my car throwing up. i also remember trying to get into my friends room at his house when we wasnt there after walking back from the bars, i think. i woke up on his neighbors porch on their couch which is literally 5 steps away from his house.

i felt fine when i woke up, fell asleep around 3 i think and woke up around 10. i knocked and apologized to the neighbors and they said they didnt even know i was there and even apologized to me for having slept on a uncomfortable couch lol. when i got home i noticed there was dirt and grass stains on the top of my underwear and pants, near my tailbone. i vaguely remember going to the bathroom outside and falling over, which is what that is probably from. i also woke up, and i always put my belt on the 3rd notch, which it was, and my clothes were all on fine and nothing was missing from my pockets, except my cell phone which was found in the yard.

i am scared though, what if something terrible happened and i dont remember? like, what if i was raped? i am a pretty big, strong guy, so i think i would remember having something like that happen. any opinions? i have OCD so its hard for me to let go of things people normally dont think about. thanks!

[iDaleo]

Hi!

Thank you so much for your thoughts of support. I am never drinking that much again. All my friends have told me that I would definitely remember a traumatic event if it were to happen. I just dont remember walking home and how I got to that couch lol. Otherwise I feel just fine, aside from a slight headache due to the hangover. I just hate not knowing bits and pieces of the night. It frankly scares me. Again, thank you!

Dale

[JGF25]

Hi there....I think that you would have woke up if something traumatic happened to you especially since you vomited.  The alcohol you had in your stomach never had a chance to be absorbed.  You seem pretty clear on just about everything you did that night even going to the bathroom and falling over.  It all makes sense to me why you would have those grass strains.  I don't think you have anything to worry about so try to let it go.  I know it is hard, believe me.  If you have to, just self-coach yourself and remind yourself the events you wrote here.  They make perfect sense.