Fearful of getting HIV with symptoms. Result pending.

[drogba88]

Hi All,
3 weeks ago I had my first and most regretful prostitution exposure with an unknown women. it was a protected sex with condom, both oral and penetration were with condom, but I did touch her vaginal and I also took out the condom by my hand, then I remember I did touch my penis before I wash my hand, am I at risk of getting HIV? Right after that, I was so regretful and I was feeling so sorry to my wife and my 10 months old baby. I soon realize I had made the biggest mistake in my life. Then I started worrying about getting HIV, that women is quite weird, obviously she gave birth as can find her tummy wrinkle, and I am also curious as she has extremely wrinkle and sag breasts at her age about 23-25 I guess, is this something to do with HIV? Then from that day onwards, I feel scare and I start searching in the Internet. What is the worst part is on the next day I had some rashes on my leg or tight with some tiny red dots, I was alone oversea in business trip, I quickly call to my skin doctor and he said that is nothing to do with HIV, it is sensitive skin. Then 2 days after that I feel cold and end up fever and night sweats, I was then freaking scare about the symptom I have, I feel tired and it tooks 3 days for me to start recover. I then decided to go home from oversea, I was helpless, then I went back to my country to see my doctor, he assured me I am not HIV infected, he told me there is no need for a test, bcoz I describe the whole process, and I used condom during oral sex and penetration, but still I insist for a test as I need to make sure my wife and baby do not get transmitted, then 2 weeks after the exposure, I went for the Viral RNA test, which is the shortest window period (9-14days) I tested it on the day 15th after exposure, and it will take 1 week to get the result, the result will be available in these few days, I am now getting more and more worried. and the worst worst thing is that I had a similar fever, tired, and night sweat AGAIN yesterday! this is killing me, this is convincing me that I had infected with HIV, I do not know what to do, I do not know how to face my family, my wife started to feel it and she does not know what happened and she found I am very weird recently. Just few more days I m going to get the result, I am now very fearful, i am dieing, I am so afraid that the test result shows positive, and I will be going alone, I have no one to talk to, I am afraid of losing my family and I am so concern about my family, bcoz it will be a heart breaking news, which they will never ever accept this. I am not prepared for this.
Yesterday, I went to see my doc, he refers me a psychiatrist, he says he is 100% sure that I am not infected, he asks me to forget about testing it, it will be never ending, he says after the test, I will not be satisfied, I will be keep testing and testing it for the rest of my life until I get a fight with my family. he asks me to start living and just be careful to use condom during sex, and the only test I need is after 6 months, do the antibody test. please help me, actually if not all these symptom, i am still feeling ok, I can still work and react normally, but all these symptoms are killing me and convincing me.

[JGF25]

Major anxiety can really take a toll on the body.  You start to attribute everyday aches and pains to the one thing you are afraid of having and in your case it is HIV.  Listen to your doctor.  He/she has given you very good information.  What you haven't addressed is the reason why you cheated on your wife and more than likely the feelings of guilt that you have.  That won't go away with a negative HIV test so you should think about finding help with that problem as well.  

[drogba88]

someone pls reply, appreciate that! I m very terrifying!