Hi there....since you already have an anxiety disorder and have ruminated about other things in the past, I'm sure this is just another thought that popped into your head. We try to come up with thoughts that we can't easily disprove and how are you going to disprove this one right? We torture ourselves. Also, watch out for stress levels. When stress increases, thoughts increase...at least they do for me. Also your statement "what if I don't love him" is a classic "What-if" statement. Please see your therapist.
Just an updated on how I was feeling this morning. I felt a nice bit of love and I was hugging him a lot but as soon as I went to get ready (have an exam in an hour) I started getting anxious over my thoughts again.
One more thing, the last few weeks I've been obsessing over his scent. Also, whenever I don't get anxious over my thoughts, I start getting anxious over that and think I don't love him. It scares me so much and I hate it
Also, another thing to add. I have an anxiety disorder. Over the past few years, I've also had health related thoughts, fears of have incest relationships, fears of being bisexual and fear of committing suicide.