HOCD and loss of aesthetic attraction to opposite sex

[AlphaChipster]

Hi, can I ask some question about HOCD ? Specially on the loss of aesthetic attraction to women and how to make it come back.

Three years ago, I was affected by a classic HOCD. Intrusive thoughts, constant anxiety, fear of being in denial/becoming gay, and all that kind of stuff. I managed to get through it on my own, in about a year. Everything got better for about two weeks, and then, overnight, I lost my ability to find women beautiful (my aesthetic attraction). The anxiety was very low and even disappeared, but nothing came back in two years... I think about it, hope it will come back and look a images of girls everyday. I know those things are compulsions and I have to stop it but, apart from this, what can I do to make my aesthetic attraction to women back ?
I'm really afraid that because of the length of time I've lost my aesthetic attraction due to HOCD, it won't fully return, do you know if is that possible ?
Do you know how I get my aesthetic attraction to women back to the way it was before? I'm really afraid it's never going to go back to the way it was before... I miss so much finding girls beautiful (especially the ones I thought were beautiful before all this happened...)

Please help me.

[Paxiled]

You might consider therapy.  You got a phobia, and although you say that specific phobia is gone the thinking that gave rise to it might not be.  You might still be facing whatever issues made you so insecure in the first place about your sexuality.  I'm a bit of a different thinker on here about HOCD.  I don't think this is really OCD at all, it's an anxiety problem of a different nature, and by using that label for yourself you may very well have talked yourself into this state of mind you're in now.  If you looked at it as like any other phobia we humans get, the treatment for it would be the same as for any other phobia.  Obviously nobody can know why you lost your sexual enthusiasm for women but if you talked yourself out of it you have to deal with that.  Is short, it's possible the underlying trigger that drove you to have this phobia in the first place is still operating.  The other possibility is, are you depressed?  Have you found other things also lacking in pleasure for you?  That's a sign of depression.  I think you'd benefit from seeing a therapist, but one thing about relationships I can tell you as I've grown old and have had a lot of them, if you press to get one such as compulsively looking at pictures of women you probably won't get one and won't get a good one.  It just has to happen in the natural course of events.  Peace.