Handwashing/ hand sanitizer

[Alcatel1345]

I have genital herpes. I've had it for 1 year. It's driving me up the wall. I feel that once I use the restroom to urinate and touch myself I have the virus on my hand and I'm spreading it to everything. My phone,keyboard, pen etc. I will wash my hands with burning hot water and soap for 5 mins to feel clean an male sure the virus is not on my hands. I still feel like it is on things I touch. For example my phone. If I touch my phone and use my phone after I use the restroom I will take a napkin and soak it in hand sanitizer and drench my ears with hand sanitizer so I know the virus did not transfer from my phone to my ear. My hands are discolored and I can't even wear a tshirt even when it's 90 out because it so noticeable from hand washing I don't want people to think. I try not to drink water or any fluids during the day so I only have to use the bathroom once a day to urinate so I don't have to run the risk of touching myself to wash my hands because I don't want herpes to spread. When I take off my boxer shorts and if my shorts touch my toes I will smear hand sanitizer or dip my feet in the shower for 10-30 seconds so I know I did not transfer the herpes virus from my boxer shorts to my feet. I wore contacts and when I had to take the in and out I would sometimes scrub my hands for 20-30 mins to make sure they were clean. It forced me to get LASIK eye surgery so I would not have to run the risk of infecting my eyes with herpes. I've try to see a dr and take meds and it's still not working to get back to normal. I feel I'm spiraling out of control I'm starting to get very depressed now that I'm drinking 5-6 days a week to help cope. I'm not happy anymore or satisfied with anything anymore because all I can think about it spreading herpes to everything and people and my family getting contaminated. When meds and a dr does not work where do i go from here?

[Alcatel1345]

Thank you for your kind words I'm going to check these out. Ill let you know where the road takes me

[Alcatel1345]

I have seen a gen. Pract. I'm very embarrassed about talking to someone about this. Is there anything you can suggest I can try prior to even thinking about talking to someone?

[JGF25]

First of all, a lot of people have genital herpes.  More than you know.  I even have an extended family member with it.  And here is another thing for you to think about.  I use the public restroom at work all the time.  There has got to be somebody or more than one person with genital herpes that uses that bathroom but I wouldn't know who it was and I'm touching doors, etc. and NOT coming down with herpes.  I use public restrooms everywhere and have NOT come down with herpes.  Your thinking is highly irrational.  Should you practice normal hygiene, absolutely, but you are going WAY WAY overboard here.

You wrote the following:

"I feel I'm spiraling out of control I'm starting to get very depressed now that I'm drinking 5-6 days a week to help cope. I'm not happy anymore or satisfied with anything anymore because all I can think about it spreading herpes to everything and people and my family getting contaminated."

You my friend are in what I term "crisis" mode.  When it gets this bad, you need to seek immediate help.  YOU NEED TO FIND A PSYCHOLOGIST and you need to do it pronto.  You are self-medicating with alcohol and that is very bad.  You said you saw a doctor and I'm just guessing that it was a general practitioner since you didn't state who it was.  

So please get back to me and let me know that you have made a psychology appointment because I don't see you getting out of this state without the help of one.  

[Alcatel1345]

Both dr, Paxil and Zoloft

[JGF25]

What doctor did you see?  A GP or a psychologist.  And what meds did you take and how long did you take them?