Hiv fear

[Jdashdanger]

Hello,
I've had ocd all my life but up until last year I started having panic attacks and alot of anxiety. This in turn made my ocd and thoughts ten times worse!
Iv had this crippling fear of hiv and it involves around needles and being pricked by one. Last year my fear was so out of control I feel into a deep pit of depression as I convinced myself I'd been struck by a needle on different occasions.
This year has been quite good as I started taking medication which pulled me out of this rut and made my thoughts more rational. But since last week iv had another episode. This is going to sound nuts but this is the stuff that goes through my head.
I work for a gym and a fella came in and asked me to hold his keys whilst he was in the gym, he barely spoke any English and looked sheepish. Basically he handed his keys over and as he placed them in my hand I felt something slightly sharp push into my hand. I didn't think much of it at the time as I wasn't paying much attention.
I inspected my hand as u do and couldn't c any obvs marks or cuts. Thing is my hand felt rather sensitive almost like I had a cut but wouldn't see it. It was later when I checked again I saw a small pin sized mark on my palm, so straight away I'm convinced he did something to me.
I just need some advice really, iv done so well to get out of this rut but now my moods dropping and again I'm. Finding it hard to be happy about anything.
Is this just my ocd playing tricks on me again? I didn't notice any blood at the time when I looked, and it was like a massively sharp pain when it happened. Surley any needle would hurt like a *****!! And would bleed?
Any advice would be helpful.
Thanks.

[JGF25]

Of course your OCD is playing tricks on you.  What you have to do is fall back on past positive experiences.  You know these thoughts are not real and you got better with medication.  It could be that you just need a medication adjustment.  There is always going to be some breakthrough thoughts and so you should really learn cognitive behavioral therapy from a psychologist as well.  Controlled breathing, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.  In this case you would say something to yourself like "WHATEVER, I know this isn't real and I'm not going there again...NOW MOVE ON."  It is kind of like yelling at yourself in your head.  If you start to go there again, repeat the phrase.  Don't wait because that OCD depression stinks.  Been there, done that.  But what I have learned is if I do have a "crisis" (this is what I call it when I just can't pull myself out of it), I go and up my medication.  The last time I had this happen was in 2011...no problems since.  But what I know and will always remember is that if I can get better once, I will always be able to get better.  It may be some work on my part, but it will all be okay in the end.