I don't know what to term this.

[Happysoul03]

I have been suffering from OCD for the past 8 years. Initially when I used to get violent thoughts about my loved ones i used to cringe and feel helpless. I have been regularly taking my medication for the last 6 years. I had been feeling better. I got married around 2 years back and am 4 months pregnant now hence i have stopped taking any medication.
Somehow I have been getting violent thoughts of harming my sister-in-laws 3 year old girl child in the sense that i imagine beating her mercilessly and kicking her and the worst thing is that i have been finding considerable pleasure in such kind of thoughts without an iota of guilt. I am completely aware that this wrong but the images do come to my mind. This is not the first time that this has happned. When I was newly married I had similar thoughts when I had visited her place. Last year I had been to my husbands friends place & he has a two year old girl child. I had similar thoughts of harming her as well. I don't exactly understand whether this is OCD or somethig else. Because as far as i have read about OCD, people feel more protective towards those whom they imagine they will end up hurting and most impotantly will be consumed by guilt. Please help as i am totaly confused.    

[katrina39]

I SUFFERED FROM OCD SINCE AGE 11...
I WOULD PULL MY HAIR OUT, UNTIL IT WAS GONE, WHEN IT GREW BACK IN, I WOULD REDO THE PROCESS, AND CONTINUED THAT CYCLE THROUGHOUT MY LIFE...
I ALSO SUFFERED FROM SEVERE DEPRESSION, IN THAT I WOULD HAVE VOICES TELL ME TO DO THINGS LIKE, POUR GASOLINE AROUND MY HOUSE, SET IT ON FIRE, THEN LIE IN BED AND DIE...
TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE THINGS WOULD BE TOLD TO ME...
I'M NOT A PSYCHIATRIST, BUT YOU MAY BE SUFFERING FROM MORE THAN OCD...
CAN YOU SEE A PSYCHIATRIST AND TELL ONE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING?
TAKE CARE

[nyrvana]

hmm...in school when i talk to my female classmates i imagined their heads chopped off and placed on oil barrels, i think this was influenced by one of the articles i read about some war, and there were pictures of beheaded people and heads with their own penis in the mouth (if i rmbr correctly, french soldier beheaded by muslims). that was 2 years ago when i didnt know what was OCD...