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Intrusive thoughts
So I have had OCD since I was 8 (now 25). I have read and read and read all about OCD and intrusive thoughts, mostly about when you fear that you will harm someone else. But I have these awful intrusive thoughts about my spouse hurting children (but I know he never would in a million years). For whatever reason, hurting children has always been somehting my OCD has focused on and worried about. So my intrusive thoughts aren't about me doing the harm but about my loved one doing harm. Has anyone else experienced that? Is that normal in OCD? I talk to him anytime I fear something but I feel like I'm making him feel like an awful person and he's not, so we are having a difficult time right now.
Hooray for you, Johnson_28, for going to Rogers. I have heard of several people receiving good help there, one of the top hospital programs in the nation.
Kind of sounds like a 'classic' case of OCD. You're having invasive thoughts and also pulling your loved one into the mix. I do this quite frequently with different things.
What you need to do (and are doing) is identifying the intrusive OCD thoughts. Realize these are NOT reality-based. Say to yourself, "It's not ME, it's my OCD." If you are needing constant reassurance, please explain this to your husband. Make sure that he is well studied on your illness and has read up on it as well as gone to therapy with you. He also needs to realize it is not YOU, it's your OCD.
You need Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to recognize thought, feeling and the subsequent behaviors and reverse those. I will soon be going to Rogers Memorial Hospital in WI for an inpatient program to learn this more effectively. (I have a very severe case and it gets worse with age!)
What you need to do (and are doing) is identifying the intrusive OCD thoughts. Realize these are NOT reality-based. Say to yourself, "It's not ME, it's my OCD." If you are needing constant reassurance, please explain this to your husband. Make sure that he is well studied on your illness and has read up on it as well as gone to therapy with you. He also needs to realize it is not YOU, it's your OCD.
You need Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to recognize thought, feeling and the subsequent behaviors and reverse those. I will soon be going to Rogers Memorial Hospital in WI for an inpatient program to learn this more effectively. (I have a very severe case and it gets worse with age!)
In addition to the question Carol asked I want to add that we are looking for closure and it makes us feel better (or at least it always made me feel better) when I voiced my concerns out loud. The problem is when you are voicing them to a person that does not have OCD. It is hard for them to understand why we can't just "shut it off" like normal people do. Since your current strategy is not going well, you need to follow through with therapy because a therapist can actually help you get past this, your husband cannot. My husband does not have OCD, doesn't "get" OCD but you know what....he has to support me. This last time I had a crisis situation I told him I would be a bit crazy for a while but that I would get better (because I always get better) and then I asked him to hold my hand while I laid down...he did of course. They may not understand but you have to hope they will support us.
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