So a few months ago I watched a youtube video about an MtF Transgender person, and my OCD spiked up. "What If I want to be like that?". Ever since that same thought hasn't left my mind. I continually recite questions similar to this in my brain and have random thoughts like when I see a girl that I used to think was hot something like "I want to be like her", and it doesn't feel like a regular passing thought, it feels like it had been shoved in my brain and it made me feel sick and full of anxiety. I also find myself endlessly picturing what life would be like as a woman to see if I would prefer it.
Worse only - when I was a child I can remember watching documentaries about Sex Changes and there's a character in an English TV programme who had a sex change and I couldn't stop thinking about it then. Also I had a phase in my early pre-teens where I discovered Crossdressing, and developed what I believe to be a Tranvestic Fetish. Nowadays I'm more into straight things, and I definitely do not feel like I was born to be a woman, I never have! And these constant recurring thoughts of "What if" and the intrusive ones that make me wonder if I really am a woman inside or something like that.
I definitely do not hate my body, or my genitals but these thoughts just keep coming back no matter what I do. I'm a 14 year old heterosexual male. Help?