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I’ve got sensorimotor OCD, anxiety and panic disorder

Since I was a little kid I always had obsessive thoughts which caused me to have panic attacks but at that time I had no idea what those were and I was always confused and scared. As I grew up I found out more and more about anxiety and started to better understand it. Unwanted thought gets stuck in my head and It can last for months or years even. For example, when I was younger my school teacher told me a story of her mother and how she had throat cancer and couldn’t swallow. After that day I started obsessing over my swallowing and I focused on it 24/7 and it was hard to eat or drink and more I thought about it harder it became to swallow. That obsession went away eventually but then started a new one. One day I was at my friend’s house and I focused on my breathing which caused me to have a panic attack. Since then I have been controlling my breathing 24/7. I have periods when my anxiety gets a little better but then it gets really bad again and it’s one sadistic and chaotic circle. Few weeks ago I had another thought which got stuck in my mind badly and It
gives me so much anxiety. I’m afraid that I will make myself believe no one will be able to help me. Having anxiety disorder and sensorimotor ocd is the worst combination tbh. Like I aware that I won’t stop breathing even if I think about it alot but I make up scenarios in my head and it gives me uncomfortable feelings. I have read it somewhere that if you make yourself believe that you’re dying you will actually die and that’s coz our brain is too powerful. What if I make myself believe that I can’t breathe no more and actually suffocate? Oh and I’ve got another one lmao but it’s kinda hard to explain. I fear I’ll convince myself that I can’t breathe in my own country anymore which is like so messed up coz then I start thinking about how hard it would be to save me in that situation bcoz you can’t just fly to another country in seconds. Practically I’m really scared of suffocating and death. I wanna know if someone else have irrational fears like these, which don’t make any sense yet it gives you panic attacks. Also will I ever be cured from this? Forgot to mention that i have gone to a therapist and was on meds but i skipped many times and it might also affected my anxiety idk tbh
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Avatar universal
Everyone with an anxiety disorder has irrational thoughts and obsesses over them.  If we didn't, we wouldn't have anxiety.  Anxiety isn't your thoughts, it's your reaction to them.  Everyone has thoughts.  All thoughts seem to come out of nowhere.  People get stuck on jingles, news items, their dogs, pretty much all kinds of things, but because they don't react to them by getting anxious or getting panic attacks it doesn't bother them and they move on.  Whether you have OCD or just a panic attack disorder I don't know, but if you're skipping meds, that's a really really bad idea.  And if you're skipping therapy, it can't work.  If you want to get better, you have to work on it.  As for how powerful out brains are, you are exaggerating their power.  We can give them more power than they actually have in the way we think, but if you think about how stupid humans are in general our brains are highly overrated because we highly overrate ourselves as a species.  We have egos.  So yeah, there is power there, but not as much as you're attributing to it.  That's anxious thinking, and if you can work on that, maybe you can suffer less.  Peace.
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