What should I do? Am I being realistic?

[KaylaKayla]

I think I may have OCD, but I'm afraid to go to a doctor to find out. I get the intrusive thoughts(and some other signs,I've done some research)  and they are particularly violent and disturbing. I think about suicide incessantly, but I have no intention of doing it. I've been like this since I was little, but I've kept it to myself. It's really starting to get to me. I want to get help (or at least a fair diagnosis), but as a teenager my mom read my diary and it had some suicide related things in it and that was all it took to get me sent to a mental hospital. I was let out in only 5 days, when they realized i wasn't actually suicidal. The counselor I had was terrible; she thought she was Dr. Phil and all the sessions were her pretty much telling me how out of control I was and how badly I treated my mother (she would tell my mom everything that I would tell her in session and my mom would yell at me for it) I'm an adult now, but I'm still afraid to see anyone, because I feel like I'll only get harassed and told I'm crazy. I know I'm highly phobic and a bit paranoid by nature, but if I go to a mental health professional I don't want to PAY and possibly be treated like this all over again. I just want a clear head and a normal life....

[KaylaKayla]

I got an appointment with a psychologist for the 25th...I'll post here to update

[ILADVOCATE]

I would say that with ocd, medication can be a good option and some people find it of help. Talk therapy is good certainly but cognitive behavioral therapy is actually more targeted at reducing specific compulsions and people with ocd I know how found it quite of help.

[DumbHick]

I personally suggest you visit a psychologist before a psychiatrist. See if your issues can be worked out therapeutically first before seeing a psychiatrist because a psychiatrist will likely just prescribe you a medication you may not need. Intrusive thoughts of suicide or homicide are quite common in folks with OCD. Like you already mentioned, you don't actually feel that way. I used to have thoughts that I was going to jump out of my moving car while I was driving even though I knew damn well I wouldn't..lol I can joke about it now, but it was very annoying at the time. Good luck

[tara1414]

There are alot of good doctors out there..You deserve to get help

good luck..and be good to yourself.

[ILADVOCATE]

If you think about suicide that's of concern and reason why you should see a psychiatrist right away. That may be more than ocd. If you have moodswings that might be bipolar. And I couldn't tell whether your thoughts are obsessive or psychotic. It all depends on exactly what they are like. Or you could have ocd and another diagnosis as well. Only a psychiatrist can make a diagnosis. I've made a full recovery from schizoaffective disorder so psychiatric disabilities are treatable with medication, talk therapy and for ocd cognitive behavioral therapy as well.

[KaylaKayla]

ok...I'm just going to assume that my question just sounds to convoluted and "ranty". Possibly why no one is answering.