hiv ocd

[paranoid460]

I've always had a fear of HIV to the point that I obsess.  6 weeks ago I had a baby.  After I had been home for about 3 days, I suddenly got this fear that my doc never changed his gloves from a previous patient.  I delivered so fast that I thought may be because he was pulled from another room and in a hurry that he didn't change his gloves.  I never saw his hands....too much going on.  I have since been sick...cold symptoms, sore throat, fatigue, diarrea, cough.  My husband also has a rash around his neck and a sore throat and cold symptoms and my baby has a rash.  So... I automatically assume that this means I am infected with HIV from this experience and that I have spread it to my husband and so on.  Many times I fing myself fabricating or imagining things and believing they have happened.  Should I get a test or is this just fear?  Is it possible this could have happened?

[rocky7814]

Me too. Me too! No more Anxiety, I sure hope.

[aardvarkadmirer]

I have this too - it started about half a year ago. I've received some therapy in an attempt to stem the concern, but sometimes worry still seeps through.

I know what you mean about not being able to shake fear though. It just sticks there and refuses to budge - ruining your social life in the process. In some ways it's almost worse than the virus we fear so much.

Happy New Year to everyone. I'm making a resolution to block out all anxiety for the next week. We'll see if I can keep it up.

[paranoid460]

It is actually nice to know that there are others out there with the same problem.  As much as I tell myself how ridiculous I am being and that there are way worse problems out there, I just can't shake it when I get the fear in my head.

[rocky7814]

The doctor definitely changed his gloves. And even if he didnt (which he 100% did) HIV doesn't live outside its host, it needs a certain environment to attach. You definitely do not need to test, just try to move on and enjoy the new life of your child.

[rocky7814]

I'm in the same mold as you. I've lived for years with a constant fear. No risk situations after no risk situations. No matter how much I tell it to go away, it always seems to come back..

[bosnianworrier]

I used to have a huge fear of HIV. I was afraid to touch a public door handle. Then I "developed" some symptoms which made me do an HIV test. Waiting for the results made me so sick I stayed home for 4 days. And after I recieved the negative results I immediatelly thought the test was false neg. Then I thought my doctor didn't want to tell me the truth because he knew how afraid I was.

It is all in your head and you better talk to a therapist because when you get rid of one fear, another pops up. Thats the nature of this diesease.