i was told to come here.

[question1123]

I had explained that i was fearfull of an exposure to hiv in that forum and i explained my experience and the dr. said i had no risk at all. and i was told i didnt need testing and i would be fine. i trust the dr. but i feel like i have to keep reasuring myself that im ok and times can get axious but i believe that ill be fine. other times i feel like theres not hope and i again keep reasuring myself that im ok. the thing is i need to get rid of this f ing fear. i even feel bad that i fear it and dont have it and i think its not right to feel like i have it cause its not fare to the ones that do have it. i feel like i need to let this go any help?

[LivingwithOCD07]

Maybe you should go to church. I'm not saying that in a condescending way, I find that God helps me more than any other therapy or remedy ever will. Your marriage doesn't have to end. Obviously you two got married for a reason, and you can get that back, you just have to put a new mentality into your relationship, get rid of the old!

[question1123]

I have always thought the worst things possible, I haunt myself with the things I come up with.  The dr hook told me that I was safe 100% because I used protection and I believe that cause he explained that oral sex in general is disputed in the first place as being a way to contract the virus not only did he say that but he said protected oral is clearly zero risk. He said my problem is is I feel guilt for what I did. I can see that but I feel like I'm destroying my mind with this fear I even can't have sex with my wife cause I think what if she's cheated and what if she gives it to me. we always have had unprotectd sex together but now I fear that she could be a possible exposure I even got scared recently when she got a rash on her face cause of the face soap proactive. I just need to be alone right now. Not just that but me and her argue alot and I get mentally abused by her constantly so she not the girl for me I feel. I am making steps to separate right now I feel it's best but I have to let this crazy fear go cause it's driving me into depression and it's hindering my life.

[LivingwithOCD07]

Yeah, but by getting tested everytime you feel that you have had an exposure to HIV, you are enabling your OCD, and setting a behavior that you must get tested for HIV everytime you think you have been exposed. I think the CDC says to get tested if you are a habitual IV drug users and if you are having sex with multiple partners, prostitutes or your partner and you are not monogamous. Other than that, you really have no exposure and no reason to get tested. So that is the question isn't? To test or not to test? Well, I think you should not test. Besides, I've had OCD for about 2 or 3 years now, and have not once got tested for HIV except when I was pregnant, 2-3 years ago. I'm still healthy even though I've had numerous experiences I thought that I had contracted some disease. Besides, all these people on this website I hear getting tested for HIV, how do yall even have the money to be getting tested all the time?

[justme35]

the fear of hiv can be overwhelming and people with ocd tend to always fear the worst...have you had a test done? i don't know your story but even if you've had a 'no risk' exposure, having a test done will put your mind at ease and help you to put the fear aside