Aa
5 weeks pregnant and dr thinks i could have cancer
I am 30 with a 2.5 yr old son. I went to the Heart dr on 3/6 because I was on a diet pill (phentermine) the were checking for lung blood clots and they found a mass in my chest. I have been to three different specialist who all seem to think that this is not cancer but of course can never be sure until it is removed...anyway I went for a PET scan and the mass in my chest showed mildly borderline malignant BUT they found a highly suspicious malignancy in my right ovary. I went to a speacialist from mercy hospital and he wants to remove the ovary to do a biopsy, and if it is cancer, I requested a total hysterectomy. I just found out 2 days ago that I am 5 weeks pregnant and am told by some docs (not speacialists) that this could just be a normal prengancy cyst but the gyn/onc told me yest that he recommends that I terminate the preg and get another PET scan two weeks after termination. Keep in mind I was set up for surgery to remove this 2 inch mass from my ovary on wednesday of this upcoming week and now he has postponed surgery so I can make the decision to terminate and go for further testing to see if this really could have been from the pregnancy. He could not tell me if this hot spot on the pet scan could simply be coming from the pregancy or not because he has never done a PET scan on someone who is pregnant so I want to know if anyone has been through something similar. I dont know what to do. I feel my life is the most important thing right now because of my 2year old son but I am finding it hard to make a decision with out a dr saying THIS MUST BE DONE
Good morning! You are going through a VERY difficult time, difficult is not strong enough a word. HELL is more like it. You will be going through emotions you have never felt. Just rememeber it is normal, there are people that can help you through each part of it. I will ALWAYS be here for you and you do have my email. My husband is like yours, sad because sometimes we need someone to hold our hands like we hold everyone elses. I don't rely on my husband for that anymore, I have someone else for that but that is another forum. HAHA. Waiting is the hardest part, hopefully they can get you in ASAP so you can take the bull by the horns. You have made a very difficult decision and that is behind you. I feel you made the RIGHT one. Keep writing to us, I check this forum several times a day to see how you are. Email me, I will give you my phone # and we can talk.
Hi there, it's really good you wrote what you did...I often think of this site as better than "Dear Diary" because you can vent and then the diary talks back! The coolest people are the ones who can take a really bad experience and turn it around and do good with it. Katie Couric comes to mind. In fact my husband and I had colonoscopies after I read about her. Maybe you will do something to help others down the road! I agree, that was one horrible experience for you this weekend. I think they are nicer to dogs at the vets. I am sad that your husband isn't as supportive as you would like. I bet his parents had a similar relationship eh? They CAN be trained, never fear, but it is hard work! Try to tell him how you feel, and how you would like him to support you. Maybe put it gently in writing even. Maybe he internalizes his feelings, like so many guys do.
Just some thoughts. Anyway you have my top secret email so you can write me there if you feel like it...
Love and prayers, Katie
PS I STILL have those feelings of longing (and wistfulness)over babies :-)
It is just such a strong instinct in us women....
Just some thoughts. Anyway you have my top secret email so you can write me there if you feel like it...
Love and prayers, Katie
PS I STILL have those feelings of longing (and wistfulness)over babies :-)
It is just such a strong instinct in us women....
I had a really good day. Trying to stay positive in this horrible WAITING period. All you women are such strong people and I only hope to gain your strength in the coming weeks. I am going through so many emotions right now. First would be ANGER for the fact that I had to go to such an awful place on saturday to do something that I didnt even want to do. I will spend the rest of my life looking for a way to make it easier on women like me who are told that they have to terminate a pregnancy if they want to be guaranteed they don't have cancer. There should be another avenue to take besides the horrible place that I went to. My husband and I were very careful and used protection so I wasn,t expecting to be pregnant. Anyway the other feeling is LOSS.... I was out this eve and was in an elevator with a newborn and "I lost it" I couldnt hear the cry or sounds coming from that beautiful little baby without feeling such a loss. I feel empty, sad, confused, scared and on the edge. My mind can only take so much. I sometimes feel like OH MY GOD am I going to be here long enough to raise my son. And other times I feel some strength creep up on me and I feel like even if this is cancer in my ovary, I can FIGHT. Then I start to think If this thing in my ovary is cancer than what about the mass in my chest, (that all these doctors are saying is prob nothing)could it mean that if one is cancer the other is too? I am getting lost in this great big sea of sadness and I have to stop. I have Brayden to think about and I cant have him see me sad - he is too young to understand. My husband and I dont have the greatest realationship....He pretty much shows no empathy and is not the best for "aw honey, what can I do for you to make it better" type of guy but I have many friends and family that are VERY supportive. I am very lucky to have all of them. I will be seeing the Dr from Mercy Hospital in MD on saturday to check me out and give me the date for the follow up PET scan. I am sooooo scared about the scan.......I fear that it will comeback saying that both places (chest and ovary) are still showing malignant. There I go again with the negative thinking, I have to stop this. Anyway what a horrible thing, to have to wait. Thank you all again for your thoughts and I will keep you updated.
Jen
Jen
I just read your posts this morning, and I am so sorry. Please do not think I am judging you for what happened (for that is not my place). I am just sorry that you did not have more time to seek out more opinions. I also was not trying to make you feel bad about the link to other cancers and terminations. Unfortunately, I have met too many women who have experienced this, and it upsets me when women are not educated about it prior to termination. I am also appalled that the doctor did not do the procedure at the hospital, but sent you home to experience it so graphically! Where is the compassion?? Anyway, enough about that.
You have a lot going on, so please take the time out to take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. I am sorry that you are going through all this, and I hope that you have the support you need at home.
I want to say one more thing to you. If you ever want to talk about anything, I will listen. My experience is different than yours, but I can honestly say that I have run the full spectrum of emotions with my experience, and one day when everything settles down, you might realize that you need to talk to someone who really understands what you are dealing with, and I will be here. I truly mean that. Just keep it in mind.
God bless you and your little angel, as well as the rest of your family. You are in my prayers.
You have a lot going on, so please take the time out to take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. I am sorry that you are going through all this, and I hope that you have the support you need at home.
I want to say one more thing to you. If you ever want to talk about anything, I will listen. My experience is different than yours, but I can honestly say that I have run the full spectrum of emotions with my experience, and one day when everything settles down, you might realize that you need to talk to someone who really understands what you are dealing with, and I will be here. I truly mean that. Just keep it in mind.
God bless you and your little angel, as well as the rest of your family. You are in my prayers.
Thanks toothfairy I will be emailing.......Katie I dont know the story with you. Have you had a scare with ovarian cancer too?
I had an ovary removed in my late teens due to a large mass, they never told me what it was. I stayed on the pill for a few years then managed to successfully have three children, which was great because the remaining ovary was full of cysts and not healthy, they only left it because of my age. My gyn at the time told me to not wait to have kids, so I had them quite early. I had cysts come and go in my 30's and 40's (I am 48) and finally got tired of the pain, fear and worry. My grandma died of ovca, she fought it for many years. My dad has prostate cancer and my cousin survived ovca (1992!) My ovary was adhered to my uterus and I never knew what the heck was going on, as it hurt ALL THE TIME. Then last fall my husband was diagnosed with melanoma (stage II) very scary and I thought I would lose my mind I was so worried sick about him. I still do. At my visit to the GP in Nov 05 I had the same pain, plus heavy bleeding, anemia, felt awful. The US showed two 5cm complex masses on my ovary. My GP could not tell me if they were malignant or not so off to the gyn. After looking over my history he felt I definitely should get it all out. Decided to go for the hyster and am doing well. It was benign but the ovary was a mess. The waiting for the surgery and the results, and my husbands surgery (they took out a huge piece of his lower back) and his results was awful.
I have so much sympathy for you. What is your plan now? What kind of a day did you have? OK here's my email! ***@**** It'll be our little secret!
I have so much sympathy for you. What is your plan now? What kind of a day did you have? OK here's my email! ***@**** It'll be our little secret!
I'll think of something! I'll let ya know.... my kids would give me such a bad time if I put my email on here!!! lol
Just keep writing me here for now...we do understand how you are feeling, trust me. Nothing is scarier than the tricks your mind can play on you, eh? I just always have these horrible "B" movies that kick in (then I end up weeping hysterically in the shower or something). Actually come to think of it, there is nothing wrong with weeping loudly and hysterically in the shower. Maybe get someone to take your little fellow out of the house and have a BIG HUGE FREAKIN LOUD melt down.
You have certainly earned it. I'll be in touch....
Love, Katie
Just keep writing me here for now...we do understand how you are feeling, trust me. Nothing is scarier than the tricks your mind can play on you, eh? I just always have these horrible "B" movies that kick in (then I end up weeping hysterically in the shower or something). Actually come to think of it, there is nothing wrong with weeping loudly and hysterically in the shower. Maybe get someone to take your little fellow out of the house and have a BIG HUGE FREAKIN LOUD melt down.
You have certainly earned it. I'll be in touch....
Love, Katie
katie - you are a wonderful person and a huge uplifter to me and I would love to be able to contact you in a more personal forum without putting my email on the web how can we get in contact.
How are you doing today? I guess it's not even one day at a time for you right now, more like one minute at at time. Oh, I know how that fear can just grab you and take your breath and all your energy away. That grind in the pit of your stomach, just makes you feel so paralyzed and yet frantic at the same time. So hard to concentrate on the menial things each day. I can't imagine you having to look after your little guy with this weighing on you. It's the waiting that is just like pure torture.
Be nice to yourself...let the housework go!
Love from Katie
Be nice to yourself...let the housework go!
Love from Katie
Oh my gosh. What can one say? I for one think you totally made the right decision, and to tell you the truth, I would have done the exact same thing. Which doesn't make it any easier. What an awful day. You did the right thing and I am glad you did not wait. Please let us know how you are each day. I will be thinking of you every day. I am so sorry for what you are going through.
Love and prayers, Katie
Love and prayers, Katie
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers, I have made the hardest decision of my life and felt I needed to make it quickly as to the urgency of the problems that I have. I did get a second opinion from a specialist and got the same answers. There was no way to do a biopsy on my being so early in the pregnancy I would have to be atleast 14 weeks pregnant for that and my dr said he could not leave this highly malignant mass in that long. He is the one who knows what he is doing so who else do I have to listen to. I felt that God would want me to put me and my family first and the only way to be able to fight whatever this is in my body was to terminate. Just for the record, I was given the pill this morning at the Clinic (which I belive is unforgivable to send someone who has to have this done for medical reason)and it was the most horrific experience ever. I will never in my whole life feel this way again. I do believe that God knows what is in my heart and when I get to heaven he will know that this was done because I had to, not because I wanted to. My obligation is to my beautiful 2 yr old and I need to make sure that I am here for him as long as possible. I sit here wishing there were some way I could have kept this pregnancy and still be told if this is cancer or not. Anyway I cant cry anymore tears I think I have cried so much I am dry for the day. Thanks again
I guess I should add, I am not anti-abortion or pro-abortion, it's an individual choice in my opinion.
I also think that doctors these days seem to just present as many facts and possibilities as they can to a patient and then let them make their OWN decisions, perhaps to avoid being sued. They seem reluctant to give opinions. Can't say as I blame them these days.
Wishing for you the very best outcome...
I also think that doctors these days seem to just present as many facts and possibilities as they can to a patient and then let them make their OWN decisions, perhaps to avoid being sued. They seem reluctant to give opinions. Can't say as I blame them these days.
Wishing for you the very best outcome...
At this point, for you, I would totally disregard the risk of breast cancer from a termination. The risk is actually miniscule, and, that supposed statistic is promoted by several anti-abortion groups, manipulating women with their fear of breast cancer.
If your gyn/onc recommends a termination, I believe you must seriously consider this possibility. Although it is tragic to terminate, are you not looking at treatment for the mildly borderline malignancy in your chest? Chemo or radiation? The PET scan would have exposed a very early fetus to radiation as well.
Not to be gloom and doom, and discount your pregnancy, but you may have a fight for your own life on your hands...as you yourself said, you have a two year old who is already here to consider....
If your gyn/onc recommends a termination, I believe you must seriously consider this possibility. Although it is tragic to terminate, are you not looking at treatment for the mildly borderline malignancy in your chest? Chemo or radiation? The PET scan would have exposed a very early fetus to radiation as well.
Not to be gloom and doom, and discount your pregnancy, but you may have a fight for your own life on your hands...as you yourself said, you have a two year old who is already here to consider....
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Forgot to tell you that oncologists are always ready to do surgery. They were going to do a complete hysterectomy based on a ca125 with a perfect pelvic ultrasound. I did not have it done.
Forgot to tell you that oncologists are always ready to do surgery. They were going to do a complete hysterectomy based on a ca125 with a perfect pelvic ultrasound. I did not have it done.
I agree with toothfairy, also. I terminated a pregnancy 15 years ago, also not for the matter of saving my life, but there is a lot of emotional and physical scars left behind, and, yes, there has been studies done that link terminated pregnancy and breast and ovarian cancers (as well as a laundry list of other "smaller" problems). My advise to you is to get several opinions. There are many good doctors out there who work with patients in your situation. I was once asked if I wanted to terminate one of my pregnancies because my daughter was expected to be born with Down's Syndrome, and I said absolutely not. Well guess what?? She was born completely healthy (to the surprise of many!) Don't throw in the towel yet. Also, if you do have a good faith, lean on it. God will get you through whatever He decides is best. You and your baby are in my prayers...
I am going to give you some information based on my experiences.
First of all, I am a mother too and I understand the feelings to be there for your child and want to see him grow up.
Second, I terminated a pregnancy (about 25 years ago) for different reasons. There is tremendous emotional pain although my reason was NOT to save my life. They are finding there is a correlation between breast cancer and termination. I would not terminate my pregnancy until I had a difinitive answer of the chest mass and ovary mass.
I agree with the others on getting a 2nd, 3rd and so on opinions.
Where do you live? Maybe one of us can direct you of where to go or who we trust.
Please keep us posted.
You are in my prayers. GOD will lead you have faith.
First of all, I am a mother too and I understand the feelings to be there for your child and want to see him grow up.
Second, I terminated a pregnancy (about 25 years ago) for different reasons. There is tremendous emotional pain although my reason was NOT to save my life. They are finding there is a correlation between breast cancer and termination. I would not terminate my pregnancy until I had a difinitive answer of the chest mass and ovary mass.
I agree with the others on getting a 2nd, 3rd and so on opinions.
Where do you live? Maybe one of us can direct you of where to go or who we trust.
Please keep us posted.
You are in my prayers. GOD will lead you have faith.
braydensmom:
I will keep you in my prayers. I agree with the others to seek a 2nd opinion from a top-rated specialist.
While not exactly on point I will share an experience I had. Just before I found out I was pregnant with my son, I had been exposed to radiation from an abdominal cat scan (not knowing at the time that I was pregnant of course). Anyway, I was petrified that I had injured my unborn child. I was agonizing over whether to terminate the pregnancy or not. I got mixed opinions from several drs. till I finally called an expert in radiology and genetics and asked him: "If I were your wife, what would tell me to do?" (actually the dr. was on staff at a hospital where my sister is a nurse and she just put a call into him and he was kind enough to call me even tho' he didnt know me and had never actually met my sister.
Long story short, he advised me to stay with the pregnancy and by the grace of God, all worked out well. I had already scheduled the abortion (against all that I believe in) but this eleventh hour phonecall from the expert in radiology changed my decision.
I am sure there are drs. out there who have had more experience in this area than the one who said he never did this scan on a pregnant woman. You might try contacting a teaching university in your area to see if any experts in the field would be willing to consult with you.
Take it one minute at a time and know that there is a loving Higher Power greater than all of us who really runs the show. Keep the faith and may God bless you and your family.
Big Hugs.
I will keep you in my prayers. I agree with the others to seek a 2nd opinion from a top-rated specialist.
While not exactly on point I will share an experience I had. Just before I found out I was pregnant with my son, I had been exposed to radiation from an abdominal cat scan (not knowing at the time that I was pregnant of course). Anyway, I was petrified that I had injured my unborn child. I was agonizing over whether to terminate the pregnancy or not. I got mixed opinions from several drs. till I finally called an expert in radiology and genetics and asked him: "If I were your wife, what would tell me to do?" (actually the dr. was on staff at a hospital where my sister is a nurse and she just put a call into him and he was kind enough to call me even tho' he didnt know me and had never actually met my sister.
Long story short, he advised me to stay with the pregnancy and by the grace of God, all worked out well. I had already scheduled the abortion (against all that I believe in) but this eleventh hour phonecall from the expert in radiology changed my decision.
I am sure there are drs. out there who have had more experience in this area than the one who said he never did this scan on a pregnant woman. You might try contacting a teaching university in your area to see if any experts in the field would be willing to consult with you.
Take it one minute at a time and know that there is a loving Higher Power greater than all of us who really runs the show. Keep the faith and may God bless you and your family.
Big Hugs.
Oh you poor thing - with such decisions to make. I have nothing to offer but support and prayers.
I would go a sep further and consult with an ob/gyn that specializes in high risk pregnancies such as yours as well as the gyn/onc. They will have different perspectives and give you and idea that would take you full circle in what you need now. I wish you luck and please keep us posted!!
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