Carcinogens and OVCA

[FunkyMonkey]

Ok so I am here freaking about my surgery on Thursday and frightened that it might be OVCA....so of course my mind begins to wander....or should I say obsess. I started to think about all things I have done through my life that would possibly contribute to a greater tendency for OVCA. For example..I am a diet coke or diet pepsi (whichever is available) addict. I must drink about 1-2 liters a day. So I start wondering if the artificial sweetner in it could be a contributing factor for OVCA. We all have so many vices....do any of you start obsessing over their relation to OVCA.... or just me?

[Twilight_Princess]

I will pray for you as well sweetie. Stay strong! We'll be thinking of you!

{{{{*Hugs*}}}}

Kathy

[linlynn]

I will pray for you tomorrow. Be strong!

[Jan214]

I don't think any of the women on this forum would disagree with me when I say he does not sound like husband material for you or anybody else for that matter.  Someone needs to be at the hospital out of general courtesy but also because the Drs have to tell someone all of the stuff you will forget and they have to remember for you.  I hate what my husband goes through when I am in the hospital.  Working long hours, than staying with me at the hospital, showering at the hospital and dragging himself back to work and worrying about me all day.  Setting up friends to be with me.  Taking care of and worrying about MY every need, NOT HIS.  As I said, I hate putting him through that but that is the way it should be and I would be the same way with him.  It sounds as if your fiance is only worried about how his life will be inconvenienced and honey that is not the guy you want.  Good luck tomorrow and I will be praying fervently for the best possible outcome.  Do let us know as soon as possible how it went.  
Hugs
Jan

[FunkyMonkey]

Hi Jan,
He said it is a waste of his day to sit at the hospital all day when he won't even be able to spend the time with me. He also said my brother will update him. It's ok that you sounded angry because to be honest I was really angry too. I just wanted to say thank you so much to all of you~ all of you seem to really understand what I am going through. It means so much to me. Hopefully I will be back here in no time to say no cancer. I also want to say that all of you women are such an inspiration to me. I feel like such a blubbering baby as I read about all of you strong women. I will be thinking about all of you tomorrow and hope I am as strong as all of you.
Cindy

[Jan214]

I am confused as to what your fiance found unreasonable.  That you wanted him to go with you to the Dr or surgery?  You are not putting your brother through hell.  Obviously, even with his hands full he wants to be there for you.  Oh, and I am sorry my other post sounded so angry.  I am the most loyal person in the world and that kind of betrayal makes me want to slap him silly and I am never violent.  You might feel a lilttle better if you don't let him have the upper hand.  Write him a letter explaining that he is entirely unfit to be your future husband and dump him.  
There are so many options on parenting so I would not discount you being a mother yet.  Even if you can't have your own, which I know is very disappointing, you can adopt or have a surrogate.  Have you asked the Dr about taking some of your eggs and freezing them.  Even if you have to have a TAH you can get someone else to carry your fertilized eggs.  There is always step parenting.  I honestly don't know what kind of person I would have turned out to be if it weren't for my stepmom.  There are a gagillion kids out there who need a loving person like to to be their mom.  Don't give up on parenthood just yet honey.  Take care.
Jan

[Brownie3321]

Hello there. I am shocked by your fiance. I think it's best you know now how unsupportive he really is before you decided to get married. Things always happen for a reason, and I think this situation, although not so fun for you, is possibly happening to prove to you what kind of person he really is. I am so sorry you are going through this. Please rant all you want here, it helps to know you are supported by many wonderful women on this forum. Take care hon, with love - Deandra

[FunkyMonkey]

Hi...In my original post I was only concerned about some simple cysts on each ovary that were seen 6 months ago, but was concerned that I was having bad symptoms of bowel and urine incontinence and that I was having back pain. I went to the ER and they did xrays and another US. It show that one cyst had grown to 5.8 and was septated and the other 4.1 and they also saw fibroids. The xrays showed calcification in the pelvic area and gas in both the abdominal and pelvic area. The Ob/gyn saw me before my CA125 and CT were back, but he said that I needed surgery. He also said that he could feel a mass and that I had enlarged lymph nodes and was suspecting that I would need a total hysterectomy. By the time I saw the Gyn/onc for pre-op my CT was back which also showed the mass that the gynocologist said he felt. He told me that it looked suspicious and that it would be best for me to have a total hysterectomy. He also said something about fluid in the abdominal and chest area, but not sure if that is important or not. I have not received a definite diagnosis....I was told that would be determined during surgery. I was told that if it were possible they would try to save as much as possible....but that it was very unlikely. He did walk through the surgery with me and took a lot of time to talk to me, but said cancer is only confirmed during surgery. My fiance refuses to go and felt I was being unreasonable. At this point...from what he said we are over. My brother will be there since he and my nieces are the only family I have left. The girls are only 4 (yes twins) so thankfully we have someone from here offer  to watch them on the day of my surgery so that my brother can be with me. I am so scared at this point...I will lose my chance to have children and I have lost my fiance and I am putting my brother through hell. I just want it done so I can start to feel better and have some answers.

[hopeshell]

Hi there,  I missed your original post and background.  You mentioned in your pre-op appt. the gyn/onc told you he would do a full hysterectomy.  Did he say why?  I would think pre-op he still wouldn't know for sure if it is malignant or the tumor grade.  My gyn/onc went through the rundown with me about what he would do in each scenario.  If my case hadn't been cancer he was going to leave all but the ovary.  He even asked what I preferred if it were early stage or even borderline malignant.  His recommendation was that since I was done having kids that he would take all even if early stages (which I was stage 1a).  He made it sound like there is a possibility of leaving fertility intact for early stage or borderline cancers if you haven't had kids and have a strong desire to have them.  This is probably more true for the borderline tumors versus higher grade malignancies.  I have since read several things about this and it seems that in this scenario they take the one ovary now and usually recommend you come back after having kids to have the other removed (usually recommended to have kids right away).  This, of course, may not be an option depending on the stage of cancer.  And...the possibility of added canced risk may not be worth it to you.  But, I just wanted you to be aware that he should have discussed each scenario and option with you.  It is hard to see someone so young and just about to get married have to have TAHBSO...unless of course he is sure it is cancer from your scans.  Like I mentioned, I didn't read your earlier postings where you described your condition so this may not be great advice.  Good luck to you!  Tell your fiance he has to be there because you want him there!  Train him now!  LOL.

[linlynn]

Do not give up! What my doc. told me is there is only 1% chance a woman at our age( I am 33, even older than you are) has cancer. I had a 6.7cm complex ovarian cyst. He will perform diagonosis and cyst remove laparoscopy on me. But he said it is possible that he will remove the whole ovary and laparoscopy becomes laparotomy as well. He also warned me to think about what I am going to do if I had cancer. So I think the doctors always tell patients the worst things. But the reality is not as bad as what they told us.
I read your case from the beginning. I probably miss somthing. What is their diagnosis for you? Why they want to take your uterus out? If it is possible, would you please put your ultrasound report so ladies in this forum could give your some suggestions?
Have the worst preparation but have the hope in your mind!
Your fiance is .....Good you find it out. I believe there is somebody there for you! I am married and thnking to have children.  I feel frustrated that I can feel my husband's tone changed when I told him what the doctor told me.
Cheer up! It is is good to have a good mood to have your(our) surgery.

[Jan214]

Okay, even if it turns out that you don't have OVCA, please do yourself a big favor and dump his a**. Make a mistake????????  Either he loves you enough to take you as you are or he doesn't love you at all.  Even if you both think he does.   I understand that having children is very important to some people (I have two, but would have gladly adopted) but there are other alternatives if you can't have your own and it does not seem that he has mentioned any of those possiblities.  If he is treating you like damaged goods now how will he treat if you can have children and you get all fat and he doesn't like that.  What if after having 3 kids you put on a little extra weight from having no time to take care of yourself and he starts cheating because of that.  He sounds like a whiner and not someone you can depend on.  Here is the question all new brides to be should ask themselves; if i fell down the steps and broke my leg, and the water heater exploded at the same time,  and the baby was crying like something was really wrong and your 3 year old came in from the back yard with blood running down his knee, would your husband know what to do or would he stand there like an idiot and than do all the wrong things.  He does not sound like the dependable or loyal type.  Any man that could dump you with all of this going on is not worth it honey.  Please think long and hard on this and if he wants to call it quits after the surgery sue him in civil court for breach of promise.  Most states still have that on the books.  You have an offer (proposal), acceptance, and consideration (love, ring).  That makes a contract and I am sure no guarantees of good health were discussed during the proposal.  Get your deposits back from the shallow creep.  Stay strong.   The right one will come along.  Wait. I was divorced in 1989 and I just got married in Aug and he is wonderful.  
Jan

[FunkyMonkey]

All this is so strange and sad to me. I don't even have a diagnosis of cancer and all this has changed life so much. My fiance has told me that having children is really important to him and that perhaps it is best that all this came up now so that we didn't make a mistake. He wants to call off the whole wedding because I am having a complete hysterectomy. I just sat there amazed and cried. I thought just when I needed him most and then I thought about all my lost depsosits...like that should matter right now. I don't think I have ever this depressed in my life....if it weren't for my  nieces I could easily see myself suicidal over this...trying to remain strong for them and waiting to her from the doctor after surgery that everything is benign..thanks for letting me rant here.

[Jan214]

When I recurred in Oct. I was sure that I caused it myself by eating a bunch of ice cream over the summer.  These wonderful ladies pointed out that if it were that simple we wouldn't have cancer in the first place we would know not to eat sugar.  You did nothing to bring this on and it's not like anybody could do anything to deserve this.  
I was in the hospital 9 days but most are in for less time I think.  Take the pain meds and take them before you need them.  It is much easier to keep pain at bay than to get rid of it once you have it.  Same goes for nausea meds if you ever need them. They are both better preventatives than curatives.  Good luck to you and you will be in my prayers.  Remember, it is not your fault.
Jan

[Casey06]

Sorry to hear about the need for TAH/BSO (doctor speak for total abdominal hysterectomy with bilateral oopherectomy (sp?)), but th egyn onc should know best. the "cleansing" you speak of , is bowel cleansing, just in case the surgeon has to involve the bowels during surgery (meaning if the cyst or whatever is attached to the bowels, he will have to cut them and you don't want any nasty stuff escaping (causes peritonitis) or bad infection, so to prevent that they have you drink some stuff to "purge" your system. I have done it several times, becuase my brother had colon cancer at age 38, so I get a colonoscopy every 3 years (so I am used to it).
Surgery was a little rough for me, so I suggest you use the pain med (don't be a hero). I used morphine in the hospital, then vicodin worked best (others caused nausea). They want you to walk, which is good, just don't over do it. Rest BEFORE you feel tired.
Good luck sweetheart, I willl be thinking of you and praying for good dx.
Deb

[FunkyMonkey]

Hi everyone...I had my pre-surgical appointment with the GYN/ONC. He intends to do a total hysterectomy. I had hoped that maybe they would just take an ovary so that I could have kids, but I guess I will have to deal with the reality that I won't have kids. Also....what is all this cleansing stuff they give you to take before the surgery? Is it really necessary? How long do you generally stay in the hospital for a hysterectomy? I am obsessing again about all of this. I am such a wimp with a really small tolerance for pain. I hate taking drugs though...so pain....drugs.....pain.....drugs. I guess never being sick makes me so much more nervous about everything. Everyone who have responded to me....best for all of you....Cindy

[linlynn]

Good luck with your surgery. Endometriosis always has elevated EA-125. Other benign tumors also have elevated EA-125 too. I even did not have that test. I am going to schedule an laparoscopy on January. I am scared too. But we have to face it. I have the worst in my mind. Hopefully we can get through it.

[Casey06]

Hi Cindy, an elevated CA-125 is not definative for ovarian cancer. it is wrong 50% of the time for pre-menopausal women. Try not to worry (easier said then done). I was not too worried about surgery, just anxious to know and have pain releaved. You say on oncologist will be on hand for surgery, I hope you mean gyn/onc, verify this! Sorry your boyfriend is not coming through for you, thats too bad..I would be mad too!
Good luck with giving up the soda, you don't need it...drink wine instead....lol.
I'll be thinking of you.
Deb

[FunkyMonkey]

Thank you all soooo much. I felt so silly that I became so obsessive about everything I have done. I think the anticipation of Thursday is getting to me. And to make matters worse....my fiancee says he won't be able to get the day off.....WTF I mean come on...he is suppose to be my support for the rest of our lives. My brother and nieces are fantastic though. I am going to try to give up that soda....think it is long past time. Debbie...there will be an oncologist there with my ob/gyn. Also my ca125 results came back at 209. If I quit the soda ....maybe it will come down...well at least I can dream. Victoria...thank you for the offer... the kids would love to have you guys watch them. It would make it so much easier than having them sit around at the hospital. Email me and we will talk about it. Thank you so much.

[rmarie]

I didn't obsess about anything I did in life, I just wished I had, had 10 kids without a husband (mother would never approved) or taken birth control pills, suppressed the ovaries and had a better time.    There is nothing to blame for cancer, it just is .      Good luck with your surgery, keep us posted,

[Casey06]

Yeah I think we've all done this to ourselves and I agree, more stress is not needed right now. I was also a big diet coke drinker and tried to break the habit for years...and I finally did after my surgery. I made up my mind I didn't need it and wanted to eliminate some not so healthy foods, so maybe after you recover you can think about it...or not. Funny thing is I don't really miss it and feel good I could finally stop. Now coffee, I should probably stop drinking that too, but that would be a tough one, plus my witch of an Ob Gyn said it caused my symptoms and I won't let her have the satisfaction....even if she could be right. OK good luck with your surgery and try to relax. Did you get my message about having a Gyn Onc do the surgery. You should strongly consider it, especially if you are worried about OvCa.
Deb

[vrw520]

My mom was a diet pepsi drinker....it was her coffee in the morning. Her neurologist told her she should stay away from it because it has a tendency to cause neuralgia (sp?), but even more so in diabetics. Her oncologist told her not to worry because everyone is allowed a bad habit here and there  and the caffiene helped her at times through her fatigue. At this point you cannot change whether or not you have cancer....you will probably never know if it contributed. So now just worry about working towards getting better. I agree with Helen....stress is one of the biggest factors of illness....and the less you obsess about this the better you will feel.

I hope that your surgery goes well.... take care
Victoria

[freshair]

I used to obsess about what I should eat after going through chemo the first time. I think we all need to eat healthy to get through this chemo and stay strong. Too many sweets, too much dairy(cheese) or refined carbs such as tortilla chips I have learned make me feel more fatigued. Everyone is different so it may be good to keep a journal. Lots of fruit, vegies and not such a big heaping of meat. Everyone's metabolism is different. I wish I could have a large glass of wine but only can have a small amount cause the sugar goes straight to my head and I get very tired. And I love wine so I do have my small amount.

I have to say that it would be good to get off the soda since you drink so much of it. It will be difficult but make you feel better in the end. There is no nutritional value in it at all.

Never blame anything you did in the past on the cancer. There is no common denominator. And let stress blow away with the wind.

If I am not on the forum in the next few days I wish you lots of luck with your surgery Thursday. May you come out of this being healthy and feeling good.  Helen

[Helmar]

I'm sold on stress being more of a 'cancer causer' than anything else.... and I think the girls are right.. if you are going to get cancer, then that's the way the penny drops. Another thing too.. some women think that if they stop eating red meat, sugar, dairy... that will prevent the cancer from recurring. I can't see how that would work... so I eat what I like, when I like, and enjoy my life while I'm here. I love icecream, and blueberry muffins... dark chocolate and red wine (when not on the chemo).. and no way am I going to give up my 'vices' *laugh*... for anything.
Enjoy each day that we are here... I say. Wishing you all the best....and enjoy what you like. :-)  Hugs...Helen...

[Brownie3321]

I did the same thing. I obsessed about it, thinking it was something I did. I thought that by eating out as much as I did, it caused the cancer. IT DOESN"T!!! It really is luck of the cards. I'm 27, no previous family history of cancer, and I worked out all the time. I don't smoke, and rarely drink, it does not matter...cancer struck me :(  Don't worry about it hon, you did nothing to cause this. Take care, and good luck. Deandra

[vegas2cr]

STOP it right now... Ovarian cancer is idiopathic meaning there is no known cause.  I have no relatives that ever had any kind of cancer, I had a tubal ligation at 25, nursed 3 kids weigh 118 pounds and have never done drugs or diet coke...LOL... honey its the draw of the cards so knock it off and stop worrying... oh by the way I smoked for years and my oncologist even told me that its one of the few cancers not associated with smoking... and I have now been quit for almost 5 years... I have stage IV and nothing I did made it happen.... I know you are frightened but stop until there is something to worry about... Ronni