Elderly and cancer

[buccaneer]

My mom is 85 and has ovarian cancer.  She had laposcopic surgery to remove her spleen with large implant.  Instead they removed an ovary and a tumor off her colon.  She has stage III cancer and will have to have chemo.  She is not sure about going through the chemo.  If she takes chemo and after the 6 treatments she will have to have another operation to remove the spleen if the chemo has reduced the implant or cancer.  What does she do?  It is her decision and we will support whatever she decides.  Her family doctor had told her before the cancer that she needed a stint in her heart.  No one has said anything about her heart.  She has always been a very strong lady, but now she has lost so much weight and looks so fragile.  Tell me how safe it is for a lady of 85 to have chemo.  

[rmarie]

I agree with fresh air.  You need to listen to your mother and respect her wishes.  This is her cancer and her life. We all get to make a decision about the quality of our life, and make a decision about how we want to spend the remaining time.  Having cancer, this is something I think about, even as I fight against with this damn disease.  All I want from my loved ones is for them to listen to my wishes and respect my decisions.  Hug your mom, and cherish everyday that you have with her, make lots of good memories.  

[freshair]

Let's look at the good side. She got this terrible disease at 85. Everyone on this site is 16 years, a lot in their later 20's and 30's. Many got this disease in their 40's. She is so blessed that she didn't get it at a younger age. And also blessed that it isn't you. I am sure she would rather have it than to see you have it (as SimplyStar with her daughter having it). Don't get me wrong I feel for anyone, no matter what their age is. My mother is 85 and so very young at heart.

I would recommend some very good doctors. If it were me at her age and having heart complications I would never do chemo. I don't like to deter anyone on their decisions but I feel I must state the facts in situations. I had a friend that did chemo in her late 40s. She had a bad heart. They couldn't operate because of her heart so she went on chemo. She had a heart attack and died. I was so upset because she would have had most likely lived many, many more months.

There are a lot of special diets, one mainly being eat heavily from the cabbage family of vegies, supplements that might "slow it down". At her age also cancer grows slower.

Good luck on your decision. And now check yourself and relatives yearly because it can run in the family.

[SimplyStar]

I agree with freshair also, your Mom is probably on Medicare,  if you are here in the states and they only cover 80% of the cost and we all know how expensive chemo is,  without a good suppliment insurance , this could really be a hardship on finances.  I think my family would insist I do the chemo,  I have some real bossy kids, but ultimatly it would be my choice.  Yes, I would trade this all in a minute to change places with my daughter.

[SimplyStar]

If this were me and I am 77,  I would look up the best Onocologist I could find and ask for his/her opinion.  Chemo is a rough choice to make but about the only thing available right now. My daughter has OVCA and tells about the women in their 80s taking chemo along with her, she says many of them get the chemo and then grab their shopping bags and tell the others, meet me at the Mall.  She is astounded at how well they seem to do.  Good Luck