FRESHAIR -- Helen I have a question for you!!

[learninboutlife]

Hi Helen,

We haven't chatted much -- but I have a question to ask you. I don't really know how to ask but I need your perspective. You know Kimmie's story, right?

When you were diagnosed, you had mets to the brain? What kind of prognosis, etc did the doctors talk about?

Rose is upset by what she has read. I just keep trying to tell her -- each person is an individual -- and as such there is no way to gauge who lives, how long they live, etc. You know what I mean?

Any thoughts or words of encouragement to Rose and Kimmie?

Thanks Helen.

Take care -- with love,
Fran :)

[freshair]

Fran,
You didn't come off insensitive at all to me. You're trying trying to help another. I am not on the forum all the time so don't know everyone. I just found out that you are a medical student so I wish you all the best. We need good medical people out there especially when all the symptoms are related to doctors and this ovarian cancer is overlooked as with other diseases. Some doctors just don't "listen."

Kimmie's brain tumor is inoperable. Mine was operable. I didn't have whole brain radiation but someone else on this site did and she has fared well. I haven't seen her on the forum but willl try to post. I just had a brain MRI Friday so I am hoping everything up north is OK cause down south it is not. It is what it is. I have lived with this for a little more than five years.

My nurse had a good one saying "I don't see an expiration date on your foot."

Please don't feel bad---I don't want any of that!  :) Helen

[learninboutlife]

I'm so sorry Helen, I didn't mean to come off as insensitive or as the a**hole that I sounded like. I feel horrible. It was late yesterday, Rose was upset and I didn't know quite where to turn. Rose has a lot of questions and I thought I'd turn her towards you. I don't usually "yell" across the forum and would have emailed you privately if I could.
Again, I'm really sorry -- I feel horrible -- I wish I could take back the way I wrote it. I think I was trying to do a few things last night and I should have thought it out more carefully.
:( Fran

[freshair]

Hi Fran,
I posted to Kimmie before her surgery, prayers and well wishes and that I would help after her hysterectomy with her brain mets with any information I could provide from my experiences. I will make sure I check the forum everyday for her. She knows that I am here for her. And of course Rose also. My prayers and thoughts are with Kimmie. Helen

[freshair]

Hi Fran,
I posted to Kimmie before her surgery, prayers and well wishes and that I would help after her hysterectomy with her brain mets with any information I could provide from my experiences. I will make sure I check the forum everyday for her. She knows that I am here for her. And of course Rose also. My prayers and thoughts are with Kimmie. Helen

[SimplyStar]

I feel Fran came here in the first place with "learning" on her mind, has become obsessed with being privy to the stories told on the forum, she is a 3rd year student and her knowledge of medicine is very incomplete at the present time.  I believe she means well, although she does tend to take liberties too often.  Rose also asked me in the chat room about mets to the brain, I referred her to Helen, I thought it best that Rose contact Helen herself. My knowledge of mets is so limited I did not want to answer.  In the chat room , Frans conversations  are limited to her knowledge of what she has "picked up" from reading the posts.  She mostly offers sympathy and very little actual advice about OVCA.  She has made friends with quite a few of the Ladies and chats with them  as far as I can tell about non sequentual things.  I can tell where you are coming from on this,  because all of us on here are either directly or indirectly connected to OVCA.  She is kinda like that nosey next door neighbor, not harmful , but someone that we don't want to know all of our secrets. She and some of the ladies will take this a rebuke I know, but I just take it as a message of comman sense, be careful not to intrude  in something that is not your business.  Marty

[dian07]

You clearly have an awful lot to learn about life and sensitivity.  These women are dealing with life and death....they are not tip-toeing around playing games ....this is a forum for people dealing with life and death.  
You say you are a medical student who lurks trying to learn from those who post here....you want to know what patients want from their doctors.....these questions you post do not reflect that which you state to be your goal.  When I asked you what you are hoping to gain by talking with women on this forum you said you didn't know and that you were too tired to think deeply.
If you are counseling Rosie and kimmie , as you say you are, then turn to your professors for that help and leave these women alone.  If Helen has words to pass along to kimmie or Rose she will pass them along without your request.
I really don't know who you are or why you are here, and maybe I am the only one,  but I am uncomfortable with you.  
No doubt I will have someone wrapped around my throat but I am going to stand my ground.  Most of us here respond and share our experiences and fears and frustrations with  women who post here.  There is an automatic trust .....an automatic connection....you don't bring about either for me.  I admit I question your motives.  
I realize anyone can post on this site, but I must admit I feel rather protective of the integrity of this site and I feel you violate that integrity and honesty.  I don't trust your intentions and I don't want anyone here to have their trust betrayed.  
In case you want to discredit me....I am a cancer survivor so far....I am a little over two years out from ovca.....these women are my family and I am very protective.....I would be ever so happy to welcome you to this site if I trusted you but you have given  no reason to.
This site does not belong to me....as I said earlier....anyone can post here.....I just wanted you to know how I read you.  Others could, and probably do, disagree.  I hope whatever you are doing turns out to be a positive contribution to this battle against ovarian cancer.
Peace.
dian