For all my wonderful friends

[SimplyStar]

OK I am home now, on my own PC, sounds like I need to kick some butt here, I go away for 18 days and when I get home , what do I read?  NO ONE of you is giving up this fight, do you hear me? Jan, Deandra, Chris, and all the rest of you, where are my fighting gals?  Those friends of ours that have left us for a better life with God would be ashamed of you, I know I got talked to by Leslee while I was gone, telling me to get  with it and stop being a drag to my living friends,  It's a beautiful world out there, and we all need to live each day knowing that our time is precious and that the love that is here amongst all of us , is enough to brighten each day for us. Take the time right now, and SMILE,  there I saw those smiles and  now give me a big old belly laugh.  it is 12:30 at night right now, haven't even unpacked yet, I am going to bed soon and when I do I am going to think about all the things that I am grateful for, { one of them is not my AGE}  ha ha ha.  I have no food in the house, the driveway is a sheet of ice and  I need a stiff drink, but no booze in the house either.  I am mostly grateful that at my age I can still manage to fly from one point to another, but I sure am glad to be home.  AZ was cold most of the time I was there, my son got the girls a new puppy for Christmas, guess who has been "in charge" on the pup? that right, gramma. I have cleaned up more dog mishaps  then I have for years, trying also to teach those 5 girls how to treat a new puppy, the twins want to pull the poor thing apart, the resident cat is in hiding, dog wants out every 3 hours at night, and when I left, my son said, "we are sure gonna miss you taking care of the dog"  instead of saying, " we sure enjoyed having you visit Mom"  ha ha ha Well enough for tonight, Love to you all  Marty

[Lafnatitall]

Wow, between you and Chris, I've sure picked the right time to come back!  I have basically been without a computer for the past 4 months...funny how we begin to depend on those little suckers...and haven't had much of a chance to write.  But that's only a tiny part of it all.  I just found out from my oncologist that my cancer that is "sprinkled" throughout my abdomen, diaphram, and liver, will never "go away".  I will never be in remission, and will be on the Etoposide chemo until the cancer starts to grow again.  I thought it would only be for 6 months and then the usual tests to wait and see.  But, it's the Etoposide that is keeping the cancer "stable".  Anyone else with the same experience?  I could be on this stuff for years. (Hopefully)  I will probably never have a full head of hair, eyelashes, or eyebrows...minor things right?  

Like Chris, I have basically been in a state of denial about having cancer and have stayed away from those here who have given me much support because of the deep depression I've been in.  It's as if I suddenly woke up and realized, "Oh my god...I am going to die from this!"  And sure, even though it may be years before I'm through wrestling with it, it's still a very sobering realization.  And then I too realized how selfish I have been in not reciprocating the love and support I have always been able to get here.  

Thank you, Chris and Marty...

Rhonda

[crecco]

  Thanks Marty. I have gotten myself back into a better frame of mind. And I spoke with my Dr yesterday about the concerns I was having and he did help set my mind at ease somewhat.
  Not to worry though. No matter how depressed and upset I should ever get, the one thing I refuse to do is to give up. That is just not an option for me. I intend to fight this through until the end.
  On another note, I am currently in the process of getting in to the STS program, which is a program where survivors go and speak to medical students. I was contacted about this last week and recieved an e-mail from New York today. As I learn more I will let everyone know.
  So in other words I am in this thing for the long haul.
    Love Chris

[dawnlyn]

Thanks for the post, got me to thinking also what I should be grateful for especially starting out in the new year.  Sounds like you had a wonderful time with your son and all those girls.  Poor puppy, lol....but I am sure he will survive.  I hope you get some rest and can at least get out of drive-way to make a quick trip to the store.  

Love,
Dawnlyn