How to cope as a caregiver

[stylistrgreat40]

My mom was diagnosed with Stage IV Ovarian CA in Nov 07...they did a radical hyst. and followed with 6 carbo/taxol treatments...the last treatment was June 08.  CA-125 was 4 at that time...NOW it is 17.  This weekend she had a mass appear in the same area of her neck where the CA had spread in 07...to lymph nodes.  Does anyone think it could have advanced this much in a couple days??  We see the oncologist today at 1:30.  I am a only child and my hubby and son have moved with my mother to cook, clean and care for her home.  Also she was very lonely.  I can't bring myself to think about this being an illness that will eventually claim my mother from me.  She is my best friend and I have always needed my mom.
What should I expect?  How do I cope?  Any advice and opinions will be greatly appreciated.

[dian07]

Life is hard.  Being a care giver is hard but it is also hard to be a mom with a disease we have no control of and  are only  able to watch  it scare and hurt our children.  Both are scary places to be.  All any of us can do is be there for one another.......open doors to conversation because that's where connections take place.  Don't try to hide your fear and pain from your mom.......she's your mom!  You're not going to fool her!  Laugh as much as possible.  Remember great moments and share them with eachother.  Find out what she wants to eat and drink and provide it for her when she is unable to get it for herself.  Just sit and watch silly movies with her, or whatever she wants to watch on tv....just sit and listen.  There is nothing that is right or wrong.  Just be there for her and for you.  Cherish the time.....don't just anguish in it.  Love her and let her love you.....find peace in your time together, and touch eachother as often as possible.
My very best wishes to you both and to your moms.
Peace.  

[VANative]

Hi,
Wow, I unfortunately dont have specific answers for you, but I share your questions.  My mom was also diagnosed stage IV, just a month earlier than your mom.
She too, is my best friend and I cant imagine the day that I will no longer have her here with me. This is such a terrible disease.  I do hope your Moms cancer has not spread and its good you have an apptmnt today. Her CA-125 is low, so that is positive. As far as coping, I dont know that I am doing that very well, but I do try to cherish every opportunity to spend with her and I want to live my life now so that I have no regrets in the future...no matter what that brings.  I just dont want to look back one day and think "I wish I had....or If only.....".  It sounds like you are doing the same. I know it is hard on you as an only child, but you are spending time with your mom by living with her and taking care of her. That is such a gift to her and to you.  She is lucky to have you there with her!  Best wishes and hugs to you and your Mom. I hope all goes well today. Keep us updated.  Janice