I am at a place that I never wanted to be.......

[crecco]

  For right now, I have to make this short and sweet as it is hard to type through the tears. I saw my Dr today ad got the results of Mondays CT scan. Things do not look good. My counts went from 1334 to over 3000 in two weeks and the scan shows rapidly progressing disease. I go in next Mon to have a pic line put in and Wed to start navelbine. He figures that there is only about a 15 to 20 percent chance that chemo will make any significant difference. But I am to keep my hopes up because we just never know.
  
   I promise that we will have our get together in Chicago, if it is the last thing that I ever do.  That is going to happen and I will be there no matter what.
   When I calm down a little bit later on, I will be back on and get my butt in gear. I just wanted to let you all know what was going on. I love each and every one of you.
                  Chris
  

[dian07]

Hello!  What good news you have shared with us today!  The tone of your voice has completely changed and I am so happy for you!  You are much more hopeful and stronger today.   I could just kiss your Doctor!
I hope you are having a wonderful time with your son and his family.  You are a wonderful woman and friend;  I care deeply for you, kid.
You take care.
Peace.
dian

[Tybear]

Hey Chris...
I'm sorry I'm just getting to your post now - I really have no words for you. This disease...I hate what it does to all of us. I will hope and pray that this new chemo works for you because that is all I can do...I wish I could do so much more.
I'm glad that your doctor is a positive guy  - he sounds great and I'm happy you have someone who is willing to fight hard for you.
I hope you get some answers about the BRAC gene - that would be interesting if you tested positive for it because I would think it could open up some new possibilites for you with regards to treatments and trials.
I really hope I get to meet you in Chicago this October...I will do my best to be there too.
Love and hugs to you,
Becky

[crecco]

  What would I do without all of you? There is no way I could ever give up. I said from the begining that giving up was not an option for me.
  I had a very uplifting experience yesterday. My Dr happened to be on call at the hospital so I was able to call him. I had heard of a new drug on the evening news Fri night and I called him to ask him if he had heard of it. He said he would check it out for me. Several hours later he called me back (yes, on Saturday!) and we talked for quite awhile. Not only is he checking with the Dr in St Louis, but also with the Drs at Northwestern to see if there are any new drugs or phase 1 clinical trials that we can look into. In the meantime we will go ahead with the navelbine as he wants me on something until we get some other arrangements made. We talked and he asked about my better half, which still has a year and a half before he gets home. But before we hung up, he said a few words that endeared me to him for the rest of my life. He told me that he was not going to give up on me. Actually in the course of our conversation, he told me that twice. I now know for sure that he will do anything in his power to help me.
  I would have been on sooner but I went and spent the night with my son and grandkids and today we are all going to go have a family picture taken.
  Though I am still in shock, I have a much beter outlook than I did 2 days ago. I have the pic line put in tomorrow and I am also going to be tested for the BRAC gene, which we have never checked for before. There is a good chance that I carry it as my mother had breast cancer 20 years ago. Finding out wil help us know which way to go in looking at the clinical trials. As soon as I find anything out, you all will be the first to know.
  Thank you for being here for me. You all are the rock behind my fight.
     Love to you all,
        Chris

[doicat]

There were going to be a lot of asterisks here on my comment with the medhelp powers that be censoring me....so to thwart that I'll be adding my own *bleeps* and so be it!  I read your post the day you posted but I was so *bleeping* *bleeped* off that I just couldn't compose myself to post a response to you.  I've had to stop and think a while.  Not to say that my response will be any wiser because of that but that I've had to think about things, you, me the *bleeping* cancer and all of us here on this wonderful forum.

I got the 18 to 20% chance talk from my Austin Oncologist a few months ago.  He basically gave me two chemo choices but said that they (and any thing else) only gave me that small percentage of working.  My CA125 was, according to the local lab, over 4000 after 4 months of doxil and a trial drug.  

I got my *bleep* to MDAnderson and am doing another trial.  I was mad as *Bleep* at Dr. T here in Austin....but now I realize that HE had done the best for me.  He just didn't have the trials available here to help me as much as he wanted.  That's why he pretty much pushed me out the door.  I realized this last week when I saw him for a check up.  He asked lots of questions about what I was doing and then said "I Really hope that this works for you and I believe that trials are the way to go for you".  So it wasn't that he was the big meanie I thought he was (yes, he is a bit full of himself *bleep* hole but he IS a good doctor and we learned to rub along) he but realized that I needed to go to MDA and check out the trials offered there.

I'm glad your doctor is talking to other doctors about your case but girl...please think about going to a major center just to check out what they have to offer.  These centers have things that are just not available elsewhere.

We didn't join this club willingly, you or I or anyone else here!  I certainly didn't join the 20% club either and refuse to accept that!  You are a fighter and I've learned so much from you!

Hugs and keep *bleeping* fighting!

Teresa

[gma718]

Chris, I have not been on the forum but do check in and see how you all are doing.  Please know that my prayers and thoughts are with you. From the day I met you I know how much of a fighter you are...FIGHT and DONT GIVE UP!!! I am sending positive prayers your way with love, support and anything else that will help you to fight this nasty disease...Take Care of yourself and I know you will beat this horrific disease!!! xoxo Gia

[Hindat]

You are an inspiration to everyone here.   I am praying that the Navelbine will work and that the doctor in St. Louis will have some answers and that you get good news soon.  

Linda