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272338 tn?1252280404

I am at a place that I never wanted to be.......

  For right now, I have to make this short and sweet as it is hard to type through the tears. I saw my Dr today ad got the results of Mondays CT scan. Things do not look good. My counts went from 1334 to over 3000 in two weeks and the scan shows rapidly progressing disease. I go in next Mon to have a pic line put in and Wed to start navelbine. He figures that there is only about a 15 to 20 percent chance that chemo will make any significant difference. But I am to keep my hopes up because we just never know.
  
   I promise that we will have our get together in Chicago, if it is the last thing that I ever do.  That is going to happen and I will be there no matter what.
   When I calm down a little bit later on, I will be back on and get my butt in gear. I just wanted to let you all know what was going on. I love each and every one of you.
                  Chris
  
39 Responses
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187666 tn?1331173345
I admit - I've never heard of navelbine and it makes me think of some beautiful wildflower. Probably have it mixed up with  columbines which are quite pretty. I'm glad to hear your first treatment didn't knock your socks off. Keep up the good work.  

irene
Helpful - 0
272338 tn?1252280404
  I started the navelbine yesterday and so far it hasn't been to hard, just a lot of fatigue. It sounnds like there will be an opening for me in a clinical trial in St Louis in about 6-8 weeks if all goes well. I think it will depend of it I test positive for the BRAC gene which we won't know for about another 10 days. Keep your fingers crossed.
  Love Chris
Helpful - 0
788616 tn?1247409642
I'm glad you got your fighting spirit back.  Sometimes when we think the doors are closing there is an opening again!  I think your Doc will find something suitable for you.  You GO GIRL!!
Karen
Helpful - 0
360216 tn?1218743000
I'm so sorry you're going through this but so glad that you have a doctor who is as much of a fighter as you are.  What a wonderful man!  You keep fighting and I'll keep praying.  If you can attach your portrait when you get it, we'd love it. Hugs - the other Chris,
Chris P
Helpful - 0
349465 tn?1289081764
I'm praying for you my friend.
Teresa
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Avatar universal
This new drug sounds promising, I wish you the best. What a wonderfull dr you have. do you think we can clone him. Keep your spirits up, we are with you lol
Helpful - 0
356929 tn?1246389756
Chris,
  This sounds wonderfully promising !! Hoping this will be your "answer".. .. Keep us in the loop !

Love,
Sandy
Helpful - 0
329994 tn?1301663248
You have made my weekend better Chris. This sounds so good and promising. I am very happy to hear this and will continue to pray. I hope you enjoyed your family picture and time spent with your son and grandkids!
Love you,
Colleen
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You women are so amazing. How I wish we could find a humongous way to get the word out about this malicious, pernicious, evil cancer. We never think it could be us - or the people we love - but it can, as happened to my DIL May 14. We will be anxiously awaiting word of the 'new drug' you heard about. My best for you. Live in the moment. How trite that sounds. I know I'm not much good at doing it. Prayers for you - katie116
Helpful - 0
187666 tn?1331173345
You put a little smile on my face and tears in my eyes. Hope is there. love ya
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Well, well, well.....a family picture.....that explains why you didn't answer your phone call I made, to you, a few minutes ago!!!! (I hope it turns out BEAUTIFUL!!!!).

Now, I know all the answers to the questions I left on your voice mail       :  (   However, it sounds like your doctor and perhaps "new to be Doc" in St Loius are going  to do their best to get you the most awesome treatment available! If LOVE from me could make you  healthy, you'd be running marathons, be with Dave, and have nary a care in the world! I adore you, girl!!!!

Please, remember I'm always here. I may not always answer the phone when you call (oops, kinda sounds like you, too), but I'll get back to you! I'm checking out train tickets to chicago on the internet and think I'll have my same travel companion (Rosemary) as last time.

Just one more thing...If you need me to come down to see you sooner, you MUST tell me. Work has been tough, lately, but you ALWAYS come before that!!!! I'll talk to you soon.......Baby Girl!

Just a little P.S. here.....to those of you that know me....a big hello. You all know you carry a very special place in my heart and I hope to see MANY of you in Chicago.

Love and Hugs all around,
Shari
Helpful - 0
792410 tn?1270315500
What a lovely man your doctor is.  I wish I could find someone like that to take care of me.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hello!  What good news you have shared with us today!  The tone of your voice has completely changed and I am so happy for you!  You are much more hopeful and stronger today.   I could just kiss your Doctor!
I hope you are having a wonderful time with your son and his family.  You are a wonderful woman and friend;  I care deeply for you, kid.
You take care.
Peace.
dian
Helpful - 0
135691 tn?1271097123
Hey Chris...
I'm sorry I'm just getting to your post now - I really have no words for you. This disease...I hate what it does to all of us. I will hope and pray that this new chemo works for you because that is all I can do...I wish I could do so much more.
I'm glad that your doctor is a positive guy  - he sounds great and I'm happy you have someone who is willing to fight hard for you.
I hope you get some answers about the BRAC gene - that would be interesting if you tested positive for it because I would think it could open up some new possibilites for you with regards to treatments and trials.
I really hope I get to meet you in Chicago this October...I will do my best to be there too.
Love and hugs to you,
Becky
Helpful - 0
272338 tn?1252280404
  What would I do without all of you? There is no way I could ever give up. I said from the begining that giving up was not an option for me.
  I had a very uplifting experience yesterday. My Dr happened to be on call at the hospital so I was able to call him. I had heard of a new drug on the evening news Fri night and I called him to ask him if he had heard of it. He said he would check it out for me. Several hours later he called me back (yes, on Saturday!) and we talked for quite awhile. Not only is he checking with the Dr in St Louis, but also with the Drs at Northwestern to see if there are any new drugs or phase 1 clinical trials that we can look into. In the meantime we will go ahead with the navelbine as he wants me on something until we get some other arrangements made. We talked and he asked about my better half, which still has a year and a half before he gets home. But before we hung up, he said a few words that endeared me to him for the rest of my life. He told me that he was not going to give up on me. Actually in the course of our conversation, he told me that twice. I now know for sure that he will do anything in his power to help me.
  I would have been on sooner but I went and spent the night with my son and grandkids and today we are all going to go have a family picture taken.
  Though I am still in shock, I have a much beter outlook than I did 2 days ago. I have the pic line put in tomorrow and I am also going to be tested for the BRAC gene, which we have never checked for before. There is a good chance that I carry it as my mother had breast cancer 20 years ago. Finding out wil help us know which way to go in looking at the clinical trials. As soon as I find anything out, you all will be the first to know.
  Thank you for being here for me. You all are the rock behind my fight.
     Love to you all,
        Chris
Helpful - 0
653618 tn?1260603643
There were going to be a lot of asterisks here on my comment with the medhelp powers that be censoring me....so to thwart that I'll be adding my own *bleeps* and so be it!  I read your post the day you posted but I was so *bleeping* *bleeped* off that I just couldn't compose myself to post a response to you.  I've had to stop and think a while.  Not to say that my response will be any wiser because of that but that I've had to think about things, you, me the *bleeping* cancer and all of us here on this wonderful forum.

I got the 18 to 20% chance talk from my Austin Oncologist a few months ago.  He basically gave me two chemo choices but said that they (and any thing else) only gave me that small percentage of working.  My CA125 was, according to the local lab, over 4000 after 4 months of doxil and a trial drug.  

I got my *bleep* to MDAnderson and am doing another trial.  I was mad as *Bleep* at Dr. T here in Austin....but now I realize that HE had done the best for me.  He just didn't have the trials available here to help me as much as he wanted.  That's why he pretty much pushed me out the door.  I realized this last week when I saw him for a check up.  He asked lots of questions about what I was doing and then said "I Really hope that this works for you and I believe that trials are the way to go for you".  So it wasn't that he was the big meanie I thought he was (yes, he is a bit full of himself *bleep* hole but he IS a good doctor and we learned to rub along) he but realized that I needed to go to MDA and check out the trials offered there.

I'm glad your doctor is talking to other doctors about your case but girl...please think about going to a major center just to check out what they have to offer.  These centers have things that are just not available elsewhere.

We didn't join this club willingly, you or I or anyone else here!  I certainly didn't join the 20% club either and refuse to accept that!  You are a fighter and I've learned so much from you!

Hugs and keep *bleeping* fighting!

Teresa
Helpful - 0
178345 tn?1242536246
Chris, I have not been on the forum but do check in and see how you all are doing.  Please know that my prayers and thoughts are with you. From the day I met you I know how much of a fighter you are...FIGHT and DONT GIVE UP!!! I am sending positive prayers your way with love, support and anything else that will help you to fight this nasty disease...Take Care of yourself and I know you will beat this horrific disease!!! xoxo Gia
Helpful - 0
386450 tn?1263733624
You are an inspiration to everyone here.   I am praying that the Navelbine will work and that the doctor in St. Louis will have some answers and that you get good news soon.  

Linda
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I haven't been on in quite a while.  But, it broke my heart to read your post.  I will be praying for you that you will be in that 15 to 20% group.  Keep the faith!  You are strong and you can make it!  

Love, Shelly
Helpful - 0
801514 tn?1273676786
Chris,

I am more sorry than words can say, and I pray that the doctors come up with an option that will work for you.  Hang on to the fact that you are physically strong, and you have a doctor who is willing to fight for you.  You should be a prime candidate for treatment that some women might not be able to tolerate.

Minnie
Helpful - 0
398758 tn?1248220291
Chris,
I don't know what I can add at this point.  Everyone has so eloquently said what I feel.  We all love you and support you.  Through our tears we are all fighting for you. You are such a beautifully strong woman.  
I vote that each of us donates one year of our lives to you.  
Here.  Here are 12 months of my life that I'll gladly share with you.
I hope that works.
Love and support and tears,
Kathy
Helpful - 0
155056 tn?1333638688
If the doctor in St Louis has no other thoughts, maybe there is one at MD Anderson, Johns Hopkins, or somewhere else that might have an idea of what will work or help.......keep fighting as long as you have the fight in you and miracles can happen.  You have a huge army behind you!!!!
Whatever you need, we are here for you.
Love,
Pam
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
God bless you Chris. You are tough! I will keep you in my prayers. Conners
Helpful - 0
225036 tn?1294509400
OH MY GOODNESS!!!  I am so sorry Chris.  I am just devistated at what you found out.  I too will do ANYTHING I can to help you with the Chicago trip.  You know I am only 2 hours away if you need me for anything.  You are a true fighter Chris, I know the kind of willpower you have.  REST and do what YOU need to do to fight this damn disease.  You have a whole group of people here behind you to support you.  Lean on us when you need to.  I'm glad you have such a great doctor.  I PRAY that he and the Dr. in St.Louis can come up with something.  Try to look on the positive side, and know I will be praying my heart out for you.  I love you Chris, and will do anything I can for you.  Hugs, Kasie
Helpful - 0
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