Mom's prognonis

[Nita6811]

My mom was diagnosed with Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer in Spring 2003. She had debulking surgery and immediately started chemo...CA125 dropped to 11 at its lowest. Fast forward...it came back within a year and she's had multiple rounds of chemo over the years. The last 2 were horrible and didn't work. After the last one she decided quality was vastly more important than quantity and vowed 'no more chemo', and I believe her since the last one (ended a little over a month ago) about killed her. Her CA125 is over 4000 now. She has abdominal swelling (scans show it's fluid). She's got abdominal pain daily now, sometimes so bad she has to take heavy duty meds because OTC don't do anything. She's had 2 bouts of pneumonia in the last couple months. She's extremely weak, doesn't have an appetite.She has a home health care worker come in daily for 2 hrs to help with cleaning and taking her to the grocery store.  She's realistic and is making 'end of life arrangements', but is very positive at the same time. Neither me or my siblings live near her. My question is: based on the above, what kind of timeframe does she really have? The doctor won't tell her anything, of course. But we (her kids) need to know just how serious this is. She has things she wants to do /we have things we want to do for her...but may not be able to if her health deteriorates swiftly. Will the doctor tell me if I call him? This is really hard.

[Annekathryn Goodman, M.D.]

Dear Nita,
I agree with Guiwenneth. You may not have much more time with your mother. It could be a few months. But sometimes, something unexpected happens like a pneumonia or a complete bowel obstruction, and then she goes from being sort of stable to being terribly ill and possibly dying.

If it is possible for you to take a family leave and spend some time with her, now is the time to do it

take care. I am so sorry that you and your family and your mother are going through this tough situation,

[Guiwenneth]

I empathize with your situatuation, as I lost my mother to fallopian tube cancer.  You can try asking the doctor, though if he is in fact not telling her anything (which doesn't seem right to me) then he may not be helpful.  I am thinking that most likely, though, the time frame is in the "months" category.  Your description sounds very much like my mother's state during her final Christmas.  By March, she was gone.  Don't wait.  Do the things that you want to do with your mother, NOW.  If she has more time than that, then you will be blessed.  However, if you lose her before you have the time to do or say the things you want to, you will always regret it.  My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Guiwenneth

[ajay777]

HI nita6811,

hi this is ajay from INDIA .are u from INDIA?