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On a treadmill

Does it ever end? There's been a lump in my neck for quite some time, felt not seen. I always attributed it to my plastic surgery since it appeared about a year after my surgery. It's been there about 1 -1.5 years and I've pretty much ignored it. When I went in for my surgery pre-op, the gyn did find it herself and felt around but didn't say anything. I assumed no problem. Went in today for sinus stuff to my GP and pointed it out to her. She isn't sure what it is, says she feels if it was a lymph node it would be hard and immobile while this is not too hard and very mobile. She thinks it's from the plastics and wants me to make an appt with him so he can perhaps ultrasound it and see if it's just a fat lump. I of course am still raw from the whole ovarian scare and am going from zero to lymphoma in no time whatsoever. The GP was not too helpful, first telling me there were no lymph nodes in the area of the lump, then saying there was, first saying it was near the surface, then saying it's deep. I felt altogether put-off, as if she wanted to pawn it off on my surgeon to avoid unpleasantness. She even said "He'll probably want to do an ultrasound since he won't believe he did it". Nice. Rob is a friend of mine as well as my doctor and I wanted a piece of her after that comment! I made an appt. for Monday at 2:30 and emailed him, warning him that if he  brings up the word lymphoma, I will screw his head off and put it on the chair next to him. Or drink heavily :)

L.
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Avatar universal
Thanks. I think too coming on the heels of the whole ovarian cyst thing, my brain hasn't had time to recover from that you know and then it's 'here we go again'. No matter how many times I go over the positives, i.e. been there over a year, no enlargement, movable, had lipo through that area, etc, my head keeps going to lymphoma, head and neck cancers, etc.  I'm mad at myself for not asking the gyno at John's Hopkins when she obviously felt it since she spent some time palpating that side. In truth I was scared and couldn't bring myself to, hoping if she thought it was an issue that she'd mention it to me. Stupid I know. I've had upper respiratory issues during the past year, including a possible asthma diagnosis, unusual for me. Where did that come from?

It's likely nothing but if nothing else, Rob is thorough and if he can't readily identify it as scar tissue, will probably order tests, which is good. The other good thing is that with the lap, they told me they did look around all over up to the gall bladder and anything unusual would have been obvious and biopsied (according to my surgeon friend in TX). Lymphoma would have been seen as it commonly affects the nodes in the abdomen. That's reassuring. Here's the thing though. Of course this (again) is occurring before the holidays and I simply don't have the emotional strength anymore to cope with people, truth be told, especially people who don't like me, i.e. a lot of my husband's family.  Between Bruce's illness, my surgery, my mother's car accident and slow recovery, my sister-in-law's surgery and subsequent heart issues, I am SPENT, DONE. I have no reserves to draw on.

Thanks for listening.

L.
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108861 tn?1227246048
Hi Linda,
     We are probably over-sensitive after our respective journies but suspect you arre correct that witnessing and worrying about your friends husband is a factor.  I am so glad you are getting the lump checked out by a Doctor you know and trust.  I can tell you know him well by your threat to screw his head off and put in on the chair next to him!  (I admit, I laughed at that!)  You are not becoming your neurotic Aunt, I can tell because you still have that wonderful sense of humor!  Keep us posted Linda!  MV
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Avatar universal
Exactly Aquinnah.  I think we are all over-sensitized if that makes sense and I can tell you that I feel badly even freaking out because of all the other brave women on this board. Before even my ovarian (tubal) journey started, a neighbor and good friend of mine was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. What was so scary about it is he was relatively symptomless. Passed out one day at the gym while working out and had physical and bloodwork and was told he was probably mildly dehydrated. Also had a nagging cold and cough about that time he couldn't shake for a month but it did leave him. Six months later of no symptoms, he suddenly is nauseated which hangs around for a month. He goes to the doc to find out his kidneys were only working at 30% and from there further testing diagnosed his cancer. By that point his marrow was almost completely cancerous. Isn't that crazy?????  I am left completely helpless not knowing what to do for him, how to support him. He went through a trial at Hopkins that had great hope for a cure, only to see him relapse at six months. Now he's on a more traditional chemo and it's taking its toll with much depression (despite anti-depressants). Because I have kids that get sick, my time spent with him and his wife (my dear friend Mary Kaye) is limited and I feel even more helpless. I do think a lot of my anxiety gets transferred to my own health.

I swear I feel like my Aunt Joan...I'm becoming a neurotic, hypochondriacal Jewish woman. Is this what 45 feels like? LOL!!

The good thing is my friend Rob will be the one checking out this lump and I know two things about him. 1) He's aggressive when it comes to things like this and 2) He is like 1,000 xanax to me and greatly helped me during my laparoscopy.

I'm sure it is probably a benign lipoma or some scar tissue -- it moves too freely. My friend reminded me that he did some ultrasound treatments on that very area after my surgery specifically to break up the "s*it" (his words) that collects after complications like mine.  It isn't always 100%. I can live with a little fat lump - it's not visible and compared to what it was, my neckline is a work of art. I just want to eliminate something more sinister, you know?

Linda
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Avatar universal
Oh Linda, I wish you the best with that. As we all know it's always a worry isn't it, even if in the end it turns out to be neither here nor there.
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Avatar universal
No. It is closer to the chin, just under the jaw but towards the front of my neck. More in the submandibular region but a bit lower.
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167426 tn?1254086235
where is the lump?   near your thyroid?
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