I guess my advice to you would to be get another doctor, why a complete debulking surgery was not done in the beginning is past me. to give your wife a chance she needs to be rid of as much of the cancer as possible, then the chemo to help clean up the cells that are left. It sounds to me like the doctor is not completely trained in onocology. she is too young and has children to look after, give her a good chance to live.
My oncologist also delayed my surgery until after 3 rounds of chemotherapy. I had extensive cancer throughout my abdomen and pelvis and it was felt that I would have a better chance of achieving "optimal debulking" if we waited. My CA-125 fell from 4500 to 37 after 3 rounds of chemo and I was optimally debulked. Your wife's doctors are probably doing the right thing by waiting. I know it worked for me.
Kathy