Chemotears

[Kaylouise25xx]

Hi All, my name is Kay and im 29yrs old and from the UK. Im new to this forum so thought id pop in and say hello.
I was dx with Ovarian cancer on the 1st Sept 08 when i had a radical hysterectomy where they removed both ovaries,tubes,womb,uterous and the omentum along with scraping some tumours off my bowels as they were having a small tea party on top of it lol, I dont have any children but have been blessed with two wonderful step children and two naughty dogs!

Im currently on my 4th hit of Carbo/Taxol and i am struggling real hard to continue. My ca125 is down to 17 therefore i feel why should i have to carry on with something that makes me feel so emotional (i cry for a week solid, and its not just like once a day its through the whole day ) when my ca125 markers are down and that they are happy that there is no cancer left inside my body? Im just really confused and dont want to carry on, does that make me selfish? Its also making me put a whole load of weight on which being an ex Bulimic does not help in the least!

Im just venting and would love to know what you all thought, whether im being selfish or as to why i cry all the time after chemo?

Thanks all, Love Kay xxx

[Conquerer]

I was 3 b also.  If you can have Ip chemo go for it and also after every treatment about day 3 or 4 have iv fliuds it really perks you up and eases into the next round.  walk as much as you can play music and wild movies  get into a place that does not allow cancer  tgo for it be outrageous  I am 2 years and 3 months out and I am outrageous and having fun even though I* have nueropathy and fatique  and just fell off my bike

good luck

[crecco]

  Kay,
  I am glad to see that you do want to carry on. Chemo is very hard on your body and it affects us all different.  Plus the other gals bring out some very valid points. Surgical menopause is hell! No two ways about it and I am sure that is a lot of your problem. If the prozac does not work you might want to speak to your Dr about trying something different. And finishing your scheduled treatments is very important. Though they might have removed all visible cancer, there is no guarentee that all the cancer cells were removed. That is the reason for the chemo.
  I know how hard it is. I was dx in Nov 05, but I had my chemo first. The chemo started me in menopause and the surgery the following June put me in full time. I have been on chemo ever since. You are lucky to have such an understanding partner. Though you may get tired of hearing it from him, he has the right idea. Some days staying strong and thinking positive seem useless things to do, but it does help. One thing you must always remember is not to give up hope.
  Please talk to your Dr about the crying. I wish you all the best.
  Chris

[Kaylouise25xx]

Hi guys,

Thanks for taking the time to write to me on this, im currently on an antidepressant which im giving up as i think its just adding to my tears,im going back on Prozac which i have been on for years,even though i cried on prozac it wasent as bad as this time. This time i didnt even want to get up out of bed as i didnt see the point, luckily i have an understanding partner who has put up with a lot from me and told me to stay positive, thinking positive and staying strong was the least of my worries!

I was diagnosed stage 3b and was great through the whole surgery and recovery didnt cry once, and now it aint stopping lol

I will carry on, and i will speak to my cancer doc about these tears and do whats best, Kay xxx

[doicat]

Hello KayLouise.  With a lovely name like that, are you sure you're not a southern girl?  LOL!

Tybear has a very valid point.  Surgical menopause can really make you crazy!  I mean hair pulling, roller coaster wacko!  I had my total hys. surgery October 2nd and have done my 3rd chemo of Carbo/Taxol which has been very hard on the body (I also have the very bad leg/hip/knee pains Tybear talks of).  Add to that the steroids...well, I told my husband that I'm glad we don't have a gun in the house.

This chemo is really hard but heck it looks like it is working for you and I really strongly agree with Teresa, the CA does not mean there are no longer any cancer cells to kill.  Honey, you want to kick this cancer to the curb and down the gutter!   You don't want it to rear its ugly head 4, 5, or 6 months from now.   I really understand you wanting to stop but please girl, grit your teeth and finish the treatment.  You CAN do this and get it over with!  Tybear's suggestion of looking into antidepressants is probably very valid. Heck, you're going through a lot.

Take care and let us know how you are doing.

Doicat

[Tybear]

Hi there...I was 26 when I was diagnosed and it sounds like you and I went through the exact same surgery. You have to remember that, on top of all your chemo, your body just took a major hit with the hysterectomy. You are now in surgical menopause which, I guarantee, has something to do with your tears....your hormones are probably totally out of whack.
I know that taxol/carbo is a really tough chemo combo - I did it twice but couldn't finish it the second time because it was just too tough on me. I had really bad pains in my knees and ankles and I finally said enough is enough.
I have to second what Teresa said...just because your CA125 says that things are good, we can't rely on that number alone. Especially because that particular test sometimes isn't very reliable in women our age.
You are more than halfway done...only two left! I know it's draining and I feel your pain about the weight thing - I put on 40lbs with that chemo combo! The steroids made me eat and eat and eat...
You have to dig down really deep and find the strength to see this through to the end. When your done, you can take a nice long break and pamper your body the way it needs to be pampered...
I also agree that an anti-depressant might be of some help - it can actually help relieve some of the symptoms of surgical menopause that I'm sure you must be expierencing.
Take care...we're always here to help!
Becky

[Teresa222]

You need to complete all your treatments. Do not give up now. Just because your CA125 gets way down, does not mean there are no longer any cancer cells to kill. You can do it! It's not easy, but as all of us have said at one time or another: "it can be done."
Please give us more information, as to your Stage, etc.  Keep going my friend. You are over half way there!
Teresa

[bohan54]

Sorry you are having a tough time, it's certainly no picnic.  Perhaps an anti-depressant is warranted.
Would help to know what the stage and a few other details about your disease and treatment plans.  Standard treatment is for 6 infusions.
Sharon